Maslow

I'm not the same person that i once was. More so, i'm definitely not that same person that i was one or two months ago. A little part of me has died inside, and it's changed me in ways i never could have imagined.

I can't exactly say what the change is, but i know there's something different. Either, something is missing or something has evolved within me. I know, that sounds contradicting because i just said that a part of me has died. Withered away into oblivion.

So, i've cut my hair. I feel like a different person. Does that sound silly? I don't feel like myself anymore. Sitting here tonight, i'm wondering who i am. Who have i become, and do i like what i see? I wouldn't say that i'm completely satisfied with who i am, and i'm genuinely working on self growth.

Have you heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? I'm going to attempt to explain it right now, so i can further explain how it is that i'm feeling about myself. I've put the pyramid therefor visualization. It's his theory for one's self motivation and happiness. Something like that, at least. Well, you start from the bottom of the pyramid, and he says that you need to obtain the needs of one tier in order to obtain the needs of the next. You need you physiological needs, in order to even be able to live. It's the basic needs of life, to simply put it. With that, it'll bring you safety. What you need to gain to feel safe is having the security within you life. Feeling like you have a secure foundation, helps you build relations with those around you which brings you the sense of love and belonging. Being able to maintain good relationships with those around you is important to your own state of mind. Because if you really think about it, it's the people around you that make you who you are today. Without them, where would you really be? This leads to your esteem. Being able to obtain the sense of love and belonging, is what brings you your esteem. It helps you strive, boosts your self esteem, and confidence. With all this, you reach the top of the pyramid: self actualization. This is when you come to be able to motivate yourself to succeed and be the best that you can be.

So, where am i going with this? Well, i feel like i'm lacking in the love/belonging section here. I've been thinking about it, and i think that's where my insecurity mostly stems from. I mean, i do have a few people that i feel do genuinely care for me. I also have my family, who are my greatest support system. But something is missing, because i don't have a sense of belonging. I feel this often, and it makes me feel really lost. I feel lack of motivation, because i don't feel like it's all that worth it to do whatever there is. I'm looking for myself, and as i do that i'm looking for a place to be. A place i can feel safe, and fit in.

The Halo Effect

"The Halo Effect" --

It is possible that for the most of us, when we first meet someone, we get caught up in what is called the halo effect or also known as the attractiveness stereotype -- in which we have a biased overall impression of the person because we saw one character trait that stood out to as that is deemed as a great trait. This one good thing, will impair the rest of our judgement on the person and we fail to judge them on their bad qualities because we are more likely to block those out due to the good trait we originally saw. 

Are you following me here? Sometimes i feel like i don't make sense...

Well in terms on the attractiveness stereotype, we can see this happening when you meet someone who is attractive. You can't deny it, but you would more likely try and find good qualities in someone who looks good due to their good looks. Such as a guy who is attractive, it'll be easier for you to pick out good qualities in that person than it would be to pick out the bad. Oh he's a good looking guy, he's also very nice, and he's smart. Whereas a guy who you don't see as attractive, doesn't has a great of a chance of you picking up his good traits due to the fact that you aren't attractive to him. This guy, who isn't good looking would more likely have negative traits to come up; such as, he's nice but...blah blah. You know the gist of it, how it works. We are all a little shallow by nature. It's hard to admit, but lets be honest with ourselves here -- you can't start something up with someone that you just aren't simply attracted to. 

So, i suppose the halo effect is rather self explanatory at this point. I can see it occurring in many situations, and i'm sure a lot of us has been caught in it. It isn't always just off the bat with looks. I mean, a girl who is a solid ten can open her mouth and sound completely uneducated and she'll her points will probably drop as she keeps talking. In this case, instead of being able to pick out good traits, you only see bad and from there it's hard to really pick out positive characteristics of the girl. 

There's times when people are in relationships with people and they are "blinded by love", as a lot of people would like to call it. I'd like to think of it as a branch off from the halo effect. In which, one sees so much good in the person that they're with, that they either can't or refuse to see the bad in the person. 

We're all a little judgmental, whether we'd like to believe it or not. We have biased views on people, and first impressions are impactful to determine the future of a newfound relationship, whether it's as friends, coworkers, or lovers. The halo effect itself is an interesting phenomenon -- i guess, if you even want to call it that.

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04/21/14: So, i just read over this and realized i made so many typos with spelling and grammar. How embarrassing. I'm too lazy to go through it and fix all my mistakes. I apologize. :(