Spring Break 2011

Well there hasnt been much to this spring break.

There never is much to any break of mine. My breaks consists of lazy days, doing nothing.

I guess you can say that i had a very relaxing break. No parties or anything. Hmm...

I missed a whole week of working out though. I went on Monday, but then just didn't feel like going the rest of the week. Last night i had a dream that i was doing intense work outs. That shows that i really need to go back to the gym. I feel fat again. LOL. I mean, not like i felt fat before, i never felt fat. What i mean is that with this week wasted like that, i feel out of shape again...yah.

Really thinking about going running right now. Should i? I say that, but i probably wont. I don't like the idea of running around outside. Maybe...i'll think about that.

Bb wants to take me out tonight. I hope that goes well.

Patrick's bday BBQ tomorrow.

Sunday is another chill day + Church.

Its Friday o_o. Shit, break is almost over.

Family ♥

You know what, i'm so glad that my family is finally getting along together so well.

My siblings and i are finally getting along. It really sets me in a nice mood, and i'm sure my parents are really happy about it too, because we never really did. Between my brother and i especially, it never really went so well. Us bonding is the one thing my mother wished for, and i'm glad it is the way it is.

Every now and then my family would get together and just have dinner and hang out. Just to bond and stuff. It's nice. We just started doing this recently. We would eat, talk, and then play some games together as a family.

Today my brother and his gf decided to have a pizza making contest. We made pizza out of scratch. Then we played Taboo. I never really played it, but either my team was really good at guessing or i was really good at giving out clues, don't know which but we won. Teehee.

I won a chocolate bar for having the best pizza too. :)

And then i was DD because my sister and her boyfriend were both tipsy. Lmao.

K. That's it. Night.

♥

Nice People

Went to boiling crab today with a couple people for Elvis' Birthday.

For a minute i was hella grumpy and upset and i couldn't pinpoint the reason for it, i'm going to assume it's because haven't eaten anything all day cept cereal.

It was good. I really do think that the drive down there from Fremont is worth it. I haven't had boiling crab in a while. I'm not really a fan of shrimp, but they have bombass shrimp!

Went to go see my bb after i dropped Lisa off in North Fremont to pick up her car. We just chilled for a bit. Still has me glowing inside and giving me butterflies. :)

Well he fucked with my car cause he wanted to high beam a random stranger. Just because, he had no reason for it. Well anyways, when i left to go home i turned my light on like how i usually would. As i was on the freeway, i noticed that i was driving in the dark. As in, my lights weren't even on! So i was like wthell, i swear i turned it on. Well i fiddled with it and i wasn't able to turn my regular lights on so i'm freaaking out. I had to take the next exit and pull over to try and figure it out. Lucky for me, i'm smart and pulled over in front of BJs. I was hoping i could find someone to help me out. I was thinking about it and figured that i wouldn't just ask some random person to help me...but then my phone died so now i had to ask someone for their phone to call me mom. Well the lady that i asked to barrow her phone had friends who so kindly helped me figure out my problem. I was on the phone with my mom and apparently all those people were Vietnamese too! So it was kind of funny because what a coincidence, right? I don't know. The guy helped me get my normal lights on. They were so kind of help me, they made me laugh. Luckily i found those nice people. :)

Apparently bb turned my highbeam on and i didn't know how to turn it off. Well now i know, and that wont happen again.

k bye.

♥

"Do You"

I swear ever since my friend told me that one night at this party to "do me", i've been hearing that term everywhere. When he told me this poking my knee and telling me "You gotta do you. Do you girll" it didn't even make sense to me, but i understood what he meant...you know? Shoot but i even wrote bout what a weird phrase that is. Seriously though ever since i heard it the first time that night, i've been hearing it everywhere. And that's what all the newly single people are shouting out to themselves. "I'm just going to do me."

It works though, and it's awesome.

♥

Hi

You’re different from anything i’d usually go for, that’s for sure. Which is odd to me because sometimes i sit back and wonder where i’m even trying to go with this. Is this something potential, i don’t know. I don’t care. Don’t care about the future, it’s all about now. This moment right here, this time right now…going with it and seeing how it goes. I was wondering to myself why i’m even interested. We have nothing in common…barely. Scares me a bit. I’m always so afraid that i bore you with what i say, because it may not even be interesting to you at all. Yet you always say something back…most of the time. Sometimes i can tell that maybe we’re bored of each other but yet we’re still talking to each other. What the hell does this even mean. I’m baffled by what’s going on. It’s just a small thing, little interest. Little crush, nothing big. Trust me. You make me smile though. I like smiling…so i like that you make me smile. It’s nice. Funny thing is that you’re not even telling me cute things or whatever, sometimes you would and that would be nice, but i’m just smiling because you’re simply talking to me. You’re still talking to me. How bizarre is that? I get butterflies in my tummy. The blood rushes to my face and i can feel myself blushing sometimes. It’s odd…i want to be interesting to you, i don’t even know what your thoughts on me are. I hope they’re positive. Sometimes i’m at a lost for words. I guess i’m just hard to talk to sometimes, i know i am. Well i’ve been wondering to myself why in the world do i smile whenever i see your name show up on my phone and why sometimes i suddenly miss you and want to be around you…then i wonder how can i miss something that isn’t even mine? Well yah, i miss you sometimes. Gosh i’m pathetic. Shit.

Well i figured it out. I’m so used to people trying to get at me, flirting with me. Trying to talk to me and if it doesn’t work out they leave. I think the thing with you is, that you’re different some how…you tell me nice things sometimes, but then its not too much. You don’t pressure me with anything, and you’re not all over me. I think that’s why. I think it’s because this is different. I think it’s because you’re being a friend to me instead and that this is just going to fall into place, maybe. Does this make any sense…? You make me smile and give me butterflies because you’re not like the other guys who pressure me to like them by charming me with their words. So i feel kind of…safe with you. I hope i got it down correctly.

But i'm not getting my hopes up because i don't really mind. This is just a nice thing, you know? So i'm very pleasant with things. I don't care if the feelings aren't mutual. It's just nice the way things are going.

♥

Sweet Talk

When people are trying to charm me, i really don't know how to act in response to that. I mean awh, that's really sweet and all but do you expect me to be all cute and shit back? I sure hope not because i don't think i want to even try and flirt with someone i have no intentions of liking them.

I feel like sometimes, not all the time, guys flirt and try to be so charming by saying things to make a girl melt for various of reasons. 1. Get in her pants. 2. Mess with her head. 3. So they can respond back with nice compliments/Make the girl fall for them.

That's just my opinion.

I'm still trying to figure out how to tell when a guy has good intentions or not.

I realized that i'm rather picky. I always have a problem with the way something goes, and i'm always contradicting what i want and don't want.

For example:

I'd say that its so weird for a guy to just randomly start sweet talking with me because if i don't have mutual feelings, i wouldn't react well to it. And especially if a guy does that with me from the start when i barely know them well i'd just feel like they're a player or something and they talk like this to every girl so i'm just going to not even bother to respond to any of that stuff. It's just sweet to hear it.

Then on the other hand, if i was crushing on someone, and they lightweight had mutual feelings i'd get annoyed as fuck if they don't show it with that kind of emotions and feelings.

Does this make any sense. Theres hella more shit that i tend to contradict. Iono. Just thoughts.

SF

Drove to SF today with bbygirl, Lisa Xu.

Went there for a photoshoot with Junshien. All proceeds are suppose to go to help Japan.

Anyways, gosh the drive there and back was a BITCH. Fuck, by the time we hit Fremont, i wanted to scream. I was getting so uncomfortable sitting there staring at the road for hella days.

We went there around 1pm an didn't leave till around 6pm. The shoot for Lisa and me was only half an hour too! -__- So we basically just stood around for daays. We got there early cause i took her roommate too, and her shoot was earlier than ours. Whatever, i guess it was alright. I don't mind it too much.

I got to get super dolled up though. I haven't gotten dolled up like this in a while. :)

We got back to Fremont, and decided to head over to UC landing to visit Hoang at work. I love it over there, its so lively. Also got to see my friend. :)

Seriously, you still really confuse me. I'm still wondering why i get butterflies. Fuckin gay. -_-

Now i'm even mentioning you in my blog. What is this crap. You wont even see this.

Well...whatever. No one even knows. All i have to say for myself is that if this doesn't turn out for the better, that'll be okay cause this is just a little highschool crush, seriously. So i'm no letting any of this crap go to my head. Fuck feelings! Cept the feeling of happiness. This is nice.

♥

2:00am - Soy Milk

Sigh. I really don't understand why i can't sleep right now. I don't even have anything on my mind! Nothing that's making me sad, and nothing thats making me happy. Well there is, but i'm not even thinking about that right now. -__-

I think this whole thought of "i can't sleep" is just in my head...so i'm endlessly thinking about how ridiculous it is that i'm not falling asleep which is actually the whole reason of why i can't sleep. Damn, twisted.

I drank some warm soy milk, because warm milk sounds like it would be nasty. I just finished drinking it actually. I'm going to finish this blog post and hopefully when i lay down i will knock out.

Recap on my life, maybe? Yes. Okay. :)

Well...everything has been going well. I put a lot of things behind me which has put me in such a better mood. I'm in love with the concept of love (it's spring, that's why), and in love with life. I was in an extremely happy state last week, and now i'm at a normal happy. Mellow, chill type of happy. Things have been good for me.

Still working out. Same daily routine as usual. Not much has change. Only thing that has changed is my mood and the people i've been texting.

YAY! I feel drowsy. Kay, Goodnight.

♥

1:00am - Can't Sleep.

They tell you, "I'll talk to you when i get over you"

They tell you, "Just let me be, and talk to me when you get over me"

Might as well just say, "Bye bitch, get the fuck outta my life"

Get real with me now. Honestly? Once you tell me those words, thats it. It's a done deal.

When someone "likes" someone, they talk to their "crush" because they care for them, because they feel a sense of comfort when they do. That's just the way it is. They want to hear from the one they like. What makes anyone think that "i'll talk to you when i'm over you" will really happen? It wont. Getting the one you like out of your mind is to get over them. That's where the phrase goes wrong. Once you get the person out of your mind, you could careless if you talk to them or not. You got them out of your head for a reason. Once you stop caring about whether you talk to them or not, once you stop thinking about them and wanting to talk to them then that's when you have completed your mission. Congrats, they're out of your head. Now that they are, who gives a shit? Your mind is free and its on to the next one.

They tell you not to talk to you till you're over them. Freals now? Same concept. I was only trying to talk to you because i wanted to hear from you. Wanted you to want to hear from me too, but it was a one way thing. You tell me to talk to you when i'm over you? Fuck you. What makes you think i'm going to go talk to you when i'm over you. What am i suppose to say, "Hi. So...it looks like i'm over you now. You told me to talk to you when i got over you, so here i am." What kind of bullshit is that. Like i said, same concept. If i'm over you, i wont give a damn bout if i talk to you or not. You're basically out of my life and i'm never going to talk to you.

Talk to me whenever you want, i'll talk to you. But i could honestly care less.

Deuces, bitches.

♥

They all come and go.

I've said it before.

I value every friendship i have in my life. People who i consider as my friends, are in my life for a reason. I'm the one that usually tries my best to keep certain people in my life because one of the things i hate most is losing people i care about. There's a select few people in my life that i really hope will stick around with me till the end.

People come and go though, i just need to accept that. That's for sure. You never know who is going to leave you and any given second. Just something comes up, something happens and they step out of your life. That's the hurtful part too. It's hurtful because these people that just leave like that, they're the ones you care for and you never would have thought that they would leave like that.

I try to keep everything solid. Most people who i'm most close to know how i work. I have an odd way of showing my love to the ones i love. I treat each of them differently, but the love is very much the same.

People are going to continue to come and go in my life. They're going to disappear as quick as they appeared, and it'll be a trip. Life is a trip.

I care for everyone that's apart of my life, i really do.

I don't leave people. I never do. I don't step out on people unless they did me wrong. Its always people stepping out on me. I guess i'm just not enough just the way i am or something, and i'm always doing something wrong to cause this. Well whatever. Like they say, if they don't want to stick around to see me as i am, then they don't even deserve it.

For the people who i dearly care about that are still around in my life right now, who i consider my bests, closest and dearest, i love you all and i really hope each and every one of you will stick with me till the end. ♥

Happiness

Everyone around me who pays any attention to me would probably have noticed that i've been a little off lately. It's weird because when i'm so filled with happiness, i get a little bit weird because i don't know how else to express myself.

Making weird noises

Hug attacks

Smiling like a dork

Giggling randomly

Jumping around

Just i guess...i'm just too happy i have no words to explain, and it's quite odd. Even to me.

I went out today, didn't do much. Just spent the Friday with Lisa, like usual. We went all over the place...kind of. Well not really. Anyways, i came home hella cheesin` it for no apparent reason and went into me sisters room. I opened the door and smiled widely at her and told her she looked good. She looked at me oddly and asked "Did you just go on a date?" I'm kind of just like wtf, why would she think that so i ask her why and she says, "because you're so happy" and im like just. El.Oh.El telling her i didn't and i'm just happy. And she's like sure...

Yah, i guess you can say i went on a date tonight. With Lisa. :p

Saturday school tomorrow. Oh joy. No really, oh joy. It's only about to be an hour. I know, what a waste that i have to wake up at 8am to just sit for an hour. It's better than staying for 4 hours thats for sure!

♥

Life is amusing

I'm so in love with...everything, really. However, even though i'm feeling incredibly happy with how everything it going to for me right now...i feel like life is just fucking around with me. Well everything will go as i want it to, if i play my cards right. I'm not saying that things will exactly turn out the way i want them to, i'm saying that i will stay happy if i keep myself this way.

So far its working. I just keep thinking to myself "Expect the worst and hope for the best". I live by that. It keeps me going.

I just rewatched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

And i was thinking...what if things like that could happen? Erasing the memory of someone from your mind, just forget and never remember again. What if...the movie is just so great, i love it. It's fantastic really.

Now as i'm sitting here i'm thinking to myself...

Usually there is always a reason behind every girl's smile. Majority of the time the smile is because of a boy. Well here i am. I'm smiling because of someone. This person...i really don't know but he just makes me smile. I feel like its just temporary though, because i have a feeling it wont work out for the best. We aren't compatible for each other.

Attraction and Compatibility. That's key, for me. At least for me to want to continue on with whatever. Problem is, this person is probably just going mess with my mind. That's why i'm just going to sit back and let things go as they please. Expecting the worst, hoping for the best. No expectations of anything great at all, that way i'll stay...happy.

♥

Sorry in advance

I'm sorry in advance if i happen to bore you. Please be patient with me, i'm quite shy.

It's hard for me to think of something clever or even slightly interesting to say so you don't think i'm some boring chick. You talking to me really interests me and i wonder why you're still even talking to me. But thanks for it. You have no idea.

♥

Cheesin` it.

Been cheesin it all day today.

Kept telling myself how incredibly happy i am, how so in love with life i am, how great everything is right now. Shits fantastic!

I guess theres about three reasons why i'm so happy. I really con't exactly pin-point it. I also don't exactly want to admit to myself just yet why i'm so happy because i don't want it to get to my head. Basically, i just don't want to expect too much out of anything because expectations lead to disappointment most of the time. Disappointment means an unhappy Kathy, which we do not want at all, right? Right.

I'm happy because this weather is perfect. I know it will soon go away though, but its okay, i don't mind too much. The cloudy weather is alright with me too, just only problem with it is that i don't have enough stuff to keep me warm.

I'm happy because i'm starting to see results in my body from the gym. Didn't go to the gym today, and i feel a bit uneasy with myself. But that's okay, i'll head back tomorrow for sure. Can't give up on it, especially when i'm improving. It's definitely something to do.

I'm happy because my babygirl is happy with her own life, and things are finally going well. And i mean it this time! I always say stuff but it never turns out the way i imagined, but this time i mean it. Things are going great for her, and it makes me joyous to see that.

And then one more thing...

Well whatever, i'm loving everything. Hopefully this just stays. :)

♥

Mindboggled

I'm thinking right now. Its 10:54pm.

Thinking about something for once that isn't making my mind and heart go crazy.

I'm thinking...

Tell me why, i enjoy talking to you or having you talk to me, but i have no idea what to say in response to anything you say. That scares me because i don't want to seem like a boring girl and have you stop talking to me.

Honestly...what the hell am i even thinking. I guess i just enjoy talking to you even though talking to you isn't even that great. Talking to you is the same as talking to anyone else i talk to except i actually have to think about what to say back. Does this make any sense at all to anybody?!

Now i'm confusing myself with weird feelings and thoughts. -_-

This is definitely mind boggling to me. Why do i enjoy talking to you? Why?

I may never find out.

♥

Spring

It has been winter for way too long this year. It finally started to get warmer, and i'm absolutely loving it. I think this is going to pass by soon though and it may start get chilly again in a week or so? That's what someone told me. I'm still so tempted to go out and buy a bunch of cute spring/summer stuff.

Spring is the season of love, and i'm seriously feeling it! Well that's what my P.E teacher from way back then told me. I believe i blogged about it. "Love is in the air." I can feel it, and i can smell it.

Mmmm inhale the great scent of it. Intake the freshness. Exhale, and relax. Gosh it's fantastic.

What i love most about this weather is what it's like during the evening. Mornings and night time is the perfect weather. Right now its about 56 degree or something. It's so pleasant. You all know what i'm talking about right? Well yah.

Currently, i'm sitting at home bored. Just showered and i'm about to get ready for bed. This week has been very nice to me. Today would have ended so much more pleasantly if didn't have to wake up early tomorrow morning to go to Saturday School. Sigh, such bullshit. But oh well. Maybe i can just doodle for another 4 hours, again. Hopefully there is a chill teacher watching us.

I hope this weather lasts for a long while. But meanwhile, while it's still here, i'm going to take advantage of it.

♥