Ihop

Today was my last day of spring break. I spent the day perfectly. Just nice and relaxing, just the way I wanted. Hehe.

Babe came over in the morning with Gixxer and we went to IHOP! I haven't been there in so long. It was such a great meal. Mmm my mouth is getting watery thinking about it. Breakfast food if the best. Super satisfying. Well we usually start our day together in the afternoon so we basically just had breakfast for lunch.

Even though we were both hella full, we decided to go get Mexican corn and mangoes from those Mexican mango/corn people. Super satisfied my craving! We went back to my house and munched on our corn and mangoes while watching Friends.

That's pretty much what we did all day today. Haha sat in my room watching episodes of friends back to back while munching on junk food. Eventually I just got too full from basically nonstop eating since IHOP that my tummy felt like it was going to explode.

Eventually after a couple more hours of friends we went and bought Taco Bell haha.

That's pretty much my day. I loved it. Nice and relaxing...and now I have school tomorrow morning which I am not excited for at all. Sigh. Well goodnight!

♥

Chill Ass Weekend Pt. II

Lately, so it seems, i've been doing a lot more. Then again, it was spring break huh. Hahah, that didn't really cross my mind too much. Although i didn't do anything too exciting, i'll say this break was pretty great. I got to chill, relax, and party. Which is all i really wanted.

Seems like this weekend turned out pretty well. Just hung out with my friends last night, drank a bit and all that. My boyfriend bonded with them, everyone faded as fuck. Except me. I was probably the only sober one there. Hahah. I drank two beer pong cups of beer and stopped drinking the rest of the night. Came home around 2 or so, and my boyfriend slept over once again.

Today, i dolled up because Lisa wanted me to since it was her day off. Except, i barely even saw her. Haha. Oh well! I haven't put my falsies on in hella days. Boyfriend and i just chilled like we usually do. Watched some episodes of friends and played with our doggie. Ended the night at his friend's party. It seemed hella crackin cause there was hella people there, except his group didn't really know the people that were there. Hahah. Boyfriend and i just left early since we were basically just sitting around. There wasn't any beer either.

Found out that i'm going to be moving soon. Possibly by summer, possibly to San Jose. Fuuuck, worse news i've gotten in a longass time. First of all, moving is a bitch itself. But i finally settled in thinking that we're going to stay put finally. Loving the area i'm at because i'm so close to my boyfriend. And now i'm possibly going to be half an hour away from him, again? It was bad enough the first time, and now we gotta go through that again. Just sucks, i wonder how things are going to be...if we'll see each other as much. I dont know. I love just him just being right there...

Also, i barely even want to drive down to south Fremont from Union City. Now i'm going to be even further in San Jose. I dont know. Shit reeeeeks. I lightweight feel like crying about it, but i guess theres no use in that huh...

One last day of break tomorrow, probably going to be one relaxing day.

♥

Chill Ass Week

Spring break this week, which was pretty whack since Ohlone was the only school on break. Every other school has their Spring break this following week!

Nonetheless, it was pretty chill. Got to take a break from school and i dread going back to school on Monday. Mostly chilled with my boyfriend and company this week.

Lightweight glad break was this week in a way because my boyfriend recently just got a job again! So i got to spend the last few days of his unemployment with him haha without him having to worry about going home to sleep early.

I got an interview today also, i don't know if i'll get it since i'm hella young. It's a receptionist job at a chiropractor's office. Apparently they interviewed a lot of people. So i'm at a disadvantage because of my age and lack of work experience. Oh well, if anything it was worth a shot. My mom didn't really want me to work anyways. It'd be cool if i got the job though. Great opportunity for me, and the hours fit perfectly with my schedule.

My boyfriend and i also got a dog yesterday! He's a Beagle mixed with something, we aren't sure what yet. Either a Chihuahua or Terrier. We went around buying shit for him today, and the workers at Petsmart said he looked like this dog breed, which i forgot what they said. Well, we named him Gixxer. He thought of it, after the Gxr motorcycle (but of course, right? lmao) I guess it's a cute name for a dog. He's a cute little guy and my mom loves him! The hard part right now is potty training him.

Spring break isn't over yet, i still gotta finish up some homework. But i hope to make the best of my last couple days of break.

♥

Chill Ass Weekend

March 16 - March 18

This was a chill ass weekend, it's been a while since i've had one of these. Where everyday of the weekend was pretty much filled with great company.

Since i'm cheating and writing this a week later from when things actually happened, i can't even recall what i did on what day...

All i remember is that it was a chill as weekend, and i hella enjoyed myself. Also, i successfully snuck my boyfriend into my house and he slept over after staying out till four in the morning. That's all i really had to say. I can't remember for shit what the hell happened a week ago.

I mean, i went to a party Saturday and stayed out hella late and mom didn't trip. I guess she doesn't care anymore cause nowadays i'd stay out late if i want to, but i don't want to take advantage of it or anything. Previous to partying at night, we had lunch at Lisa's aunties restaurant. Good chinese food. Yummyumm

Sunday, when babe and i woke up in the afternoon, we decided we wanted to go to Boiling Crab. So that's what we ended up doing, and then went and watched a movie afterwards. Pretty chill...

I can't remember what we did Friday.

Well yah...had to share the one weekend i actually did something worth talking about. I just haven't had the time to sit down and write about it.

♥

His Grandma

We can all agree that old people are adorable. I never really knew my grandparents. The only memories i have of them are of when i was really young. The one memory i have of my mom's mother is when i was in vietnam and she gave me a haircut.

His grandmother is probably one of the only elderly people that i've really talked to in a really really long time. I mean i don't really talk to her, but she's such a lovable lady! She's so sweet, adorable, and cute. It's weird because she's not my grandmother and i'm not all that close to his family but sometimes i hella just want to hug her.

My boyfriend would jokingly tell her sometimes, "Grandma, you know i'm going to marry her one day?" Well today i went to his auntie's house, where his grandmother lives, to celebrate his cousin's birthday. And he said that to her again. She's so sweet. Of course she said that it's not his time to think about such a thing yet.

She insisted for me to sit next to her at the dinner table. And when she was about to take my plate to throw away, i insisted on doing it for her and taking her plate and she responded with, "Okay Ms. Pretty." Heh..so sweet. ^_^

And my boyfriend absolutely loves and adore her. I really admire him for that. I love the way he is with her. I mean of course she's his grandmother. But i guess it's because i've never seen any guy be so tender and loving towards their relative before. It's really very sweet. Makes me love him that much more.

That's all i have to say about his grandma.

♥

Progression

When problems arise in a relationship there are a couple of things you can do about it:

1. leave

2. let it go and move pass it

3. Address the situation and progress upon the problem to make things better

For most, we try to go with the third choice. If you were to just leave, then you're a coward. If you were to just let it go and move pass it, you'll end up going crazy once it all builds up.

Things have been rocky for the past month, but now we're just trying our best to progress towards the better. I want us to be able to bring the best out of one another, not the worse. We have both addressed the problem, and it's our own responsibility to take them into consideration and try to compromise with one another. It is true that you can't change a person for your own liking just to make a relationship work out. However, it's important to remember that you guys to need to find some sort of agreement to make one another happy.

This week has been nice, i could tell we are doing a lot better in many aspects.

♥

Saturday Afternoon at Starbucks

It's kind of hard to handle...i've never been through anything like this. It hurts most because this isn't what i wanted. I wanted to try and work things out, not leave each other alone for a little bit. What am i suppose to do now...go about my day like everything is okay? I mean, i guess i have no choice.

I'm miserable inside. I'm trying to make the best of my days. Trying to just get out of bed and do something. I can't even stand to be at my house. For some reason being at home just puts me down so much. I went to my sister's last night and slept there. Lena wouldn't let me sleep with her so i crashed on the couch. I didn't really want to be around friends or anything, i did but i couldn't. I'm so miserable inside...

I fell asleep last night sad as shit, woke up sad as shit...my sister's house was empty. Everyone was gone...i can't be alone in an empty house. That sounds so miserable. I don't want to lay around and drown myself in my sorrows. I don't want to be around people who will make me think of the situation and make me feel worse. I need to get away. If only i can leave town again.

Well i woke up from my sister's house and thought about going for a run until i realized i have lint all over myself and didn't want to walk around like that. Oh, excuses.

Trying to make the best of today somehow even though i'm screaming inside for someone to save me from this...

It's been nonstop crying for the past week. I need to get it together. I need to get myself together. Maybe this is for the best, maybe i need to just take his word for it and believe that everything will be okay. I can't get myself to accept that though. Because it just seems hopeless for anyone that has to go through this. And i'm really scared. I don't want it to be hopeless. I want to hold on and hope for the best, i want it to work out. I want us to be solid again.

Today is such a gorgeous day. The weather is lovely, slight breeze but the skies are clear. I can't stand to just sit around in my empty house by myself and just be depressed. Sigh...so i got out. I'm sitting by myself outside of Starbucks at Union Landing. Watching people walk by and seeing people enjoy the day. I guess this kind of nice. I'm here with my coffee and a pack of Marlboro Reds. I just bought the pack before i got here, and now i'm not sure if i really want to open it and smoke it. I want to find another way to distress myself.

Gotta find a way to cope with things. Gotta find a way to make things better. It's such a beautiful day today, and i'm just so down. I'm trying so hard to just stay positive and put a smile on myself. Sitting here and looking at families or just people in general walk by smiling and laughing, makes me feel a bit better too.

Although i am alone sitting here right now, i've never felt so at peace with myself. As sad as i am, i'm content...well i don't know. I'm listening to classical music through my headphones. This shit is so relaxing, i love it. It never fails to calm me the fuck down. That's what's keeping me at ease i guess.

I can't get over how beautiful everything is right now, and more than anything i want to spend this lovely day with him. More than anything...i just want us to be back to the way things were.

On Breaks

I don't believe in breaks. Because a break is just one step closer to a break up. It leaves me hopeless and lost. What do you do in this situation...it's like they're still yours but they aren't.

Everyone who goes in a break with their bf/gf, from there on things just don't go as smoothly. I really don't know, i never experienced such a thing. I never want to. I never wanted to.

How long do you wait for, and how can you be sure that things will be okay once the break is over. Why do you even need to take a break from your bf/gf for anyways? Are you tired of them, you can't handle them at the moment? Well what is all that even suppose to mean. You just don't want all this pressure, and you don't want to stress, and you don't want them to be bothering you. Now you two are at that point. One of you can't handle it. Maybe you both can't. Either way someone can't deal with it anymore so they need time off. A vacation from you. That sounds absurd. Why do you need a vacation from someone...

Maybe i'll never understand. Everyone says a break is just another step closer to a break up, and from there things aren't going to progress but become worse over time. Someone will lose feelings.

The things is though, that you also need to have faith. The two of you need to have faith in one another...just because you think things are going to go down hill from there on out, doesn't necessarily mean that they have to. Because you have a choice. You have a choice to try and make it work out and make things become the way they used to be. But is it worth it now?

I guess when people go into a break they just lose that hope and faith. During the break, someone's pondering their thoughts about the significance of the relationship...if its worth it. If they deserve better..

Well i want to think that he's worth it. I want to make it work...i'm sorry for everything. I love you.