You Are Goodbye

You Are Goodbye | Holly Conlan

Mr. Sandman

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream...make him the cutest that i've ever seen...

Boss | Tinashe

What I Might Do

fangirlscreaming

Something to know about me: I'm a groupie hoe for Miguel.

I fantasize about him singing to me.
Get Miguel to sing for me on my birthday, so i know that it's real. Get him to sing for me on any given day...and i'll love you for life.

So, i've followed him on twitter and the other day i saw him tweet something about how he was collabing with Cashmere Cat on something, so i decided to look it up:



Do You - Miguel x Cashmere Cat

Listening to this, i imagined myself engulfed in complete and utter euphoria as i'm on. So happy and blissfully melting as i enjoy the rhythm and beats. As Miguel's sweet voice surrounds my mind.

The Longest Text Message Ever

Childish Gambino | The Longest Text Message Ever

I Want You

I Want You | Common

Just Cause...

This Woman's Work | Maxwell

Say Something

Good Day | Greg Street

I didn't really get any sleep at all last night after i finished my mini paper. I was pretty tired, but my mind just did not want to shut off. Ended up getting out of bed at 5:30am, because i gave up on trying to sleep.

Although, i didn't get much sleep, several things that i encountered in the morning, put a smile on my face:

Every Tuesdays and Thursdays, i go to Starbucks in the morning to get coffee before school. I don't usually care for coffee, but i go to school with Steven, and he's addicted to it. One of the baristas showed acknowledgment that she remembered my name! I've never really been a "regular" anywhere before. I told Steven that i was happy about that, and he asked me why. It's a small gesture, and i have been going there a lot...but she didn't have to remember my name. She just did. Whether she intended to remember it or not. I like it when people remember me, in whatever type of circumstance.

Also, as i was standing there waiting for my drink, this older man said to me, "smile! your drink is coming soon!" I may have been standing there, staring into space, and i may have looked upset. That's the only reason i could of why he would tell me to smile. But it did make me smile, him and his friend made a little small talk with me. I didn't quite know what to say in response to anything they were saying though, so i just smiled at them. When i got my drink, very shortly after he told me to smile, he said "see, i told you it was coming soon." Then i said thank you to him, and told him and his friend to have a great day. I really love it when people are really friendly, especially in the mornings. Mornings are tough! So if you can manage to be nice to the people around you, that's just a great thing.

On the drive to school, the song Good Day by Greg Street played on Pandora. That song instantly put a big smile on my face. I hummed it through out the day.



What a positive song, right?

So everything that i took note of that made my smile today, all happened before school started. Once i got to school, i was just tired and became quite stressed out! The rest of my day was just whatever, i wouldn't say it was a pleasant day. Whatever the case, i had a pleasant morning. Thanks to the people at Starbucks. Lol.

Opposites Attract | Kendrick Lamar

Sit and listen. Absorb the words, and do you understand?
Do you feel the words.

These are the exactly the reasons why i cheat on you...

And that makes me wonder, will i continue to be treated like shit, if i continue to love the way i do. That's what i want to know. Or will someone actually appreciate me, for the way i am. 

Maybe i should have been more of a bitch. But i take pride in me not being much of a bitch.

Lately

Lately by Jodeci

Concrete Wall

♥

Mirrors in the Moonlight

I'll wait for you as long as it takes for you to see,

It seems the devil's got a piece of you heart...

And you can't see that you're beautiful

Sometimes, i feel pathetic for the way that i am. For the way that i love. I idly wonder, will someone out there ever appreciate my overbearing tendencies instead of become overwhelmed by the way that i am? Is it bad the way that i am? For loving the way i love?

People have told me, i've heard it several times: "You're emotionally unstable", "You're hella sprung", and so on and so forth. (Actually...that's sort of the only things i've heard, but they sort of make me wonder. I had to check what "sprung" was to see if i should be insulted by that comment or not. In the context that it was said, i felt like it was more like an insult. Here are three denotations of sprung via urbandictionary.com:

1) sprung is when you are falling in love, when you can't live without him/her.
2) being soo much much in love that you would do anything for that person or thinking about them all the time.
3) The act of being completely enthralled by one person. To have been touched in such a way that you can't get them out of your mind. You desire their sex, their touch, their presence every hour of every day.

Well i sort of had a general idea of what that term meant. When i was told that, i was a little bit confused as to why his tone sounded insulting. I asked, "What's wrong with that?..." I guess i can't see the problem in that because that's how i love. Towards him at least. That's how i love towards him. I see what this person is getting at though. What is my life besides him? 

It's not much i guess. What can i make of my own life asides from him? According to these three denotations of "sprung", i can conclude the following: Yes, I'm very much in love. I'd prefer not to live without him, i'd do anything for him, and i guess you can even say i have a desire for him all the time. 

Do you see how that can be so overwhelming? What has this guy done to my mind, my heart, my soul...? I've become puddy. Stripped completely of my pride. Here i am, night after night...wishing, hoping,  wanting. Begging, pleading, apologizing. Have i done something wrong? Overbearing. 

As if i'm not pathetic enough, i willingly put out my flaws out there for all to see. I write of how i'm sad, how i'm hopeful, saying what i can offer. Pouring it all out, to the public. Is this anyone's business? 

I suppose you can consider this a warning. 

♥

p.s. He's a good guy. Take my word for it. He makes me happy.

Put your guard down  and let me in

Beyond Wonderland 2012

I've never been to a concert before this and Identity festival. I was never able to imagine what listening to music live would be like. I thought that maybe it would be something like the videos of songs on youtube that are recorded live, and those kind of suck.

Going to this was just something else. I guess definitely the atmosphere had something to due with it. But listening to music live is just amazing beyond anything! It's sort of like once you hear it live, it's not really quite the same when you listen to it through the speakers of your computer. You know what i mean?

Beyond Wonderland was beyond amazing. I wish i took more photos though - especially with others, but my boyfriend and i strayed away from our group so many times. It was so hard to reunite with everyone again.



♥