360 turn.

It's as if i just made a full 360 turn with my life. I grew up here in San Jose/Milpitas up till it was time for me to go off to middle school. My mom gave me the news when i was in sixth grade, just as i was about ready and excited to go off to middle school at Rancho Jr. High with all my friends, that the we were moving to Fremont. I cried and pouted, but of course i had absolutely no say in it. It sucked.

Moving to a new school sucks. Moving to a new school when you're going off to middle school or even high school sucks a whole lot more. Why? Because at this point, kids have already figured out who their bestfriends are in elementary school, and they have already formed cliques. It also depends on how you handle the situation, along with how you are. And we all know, i am shy beyond belief.

I struggled trying to make friends, first two weeks i was completely alone. I spent lunch time in the bathroom standing there...waiting for lunch to be over. Finally i had hope, i met a girl who was also new and alone; however, she moved shortly after we became friends. Thus, leaving me alone again. From there i spent my lunchtime in the library, reading by myself. I hated it. Well it took time, but eventually i made friends. Not going to lie, but the perks of being pleasant to look at.

Eventually, friends from my old school and i drifted apart. And i moved on with the fact that i had to move to Fremont. I enjoyed the people i met in middle school. Off to high school, and eventually cliques formed in middle school got smaller and more exclusive. I went from having a large group of friends to only having two lovely ladies by my side. I suppose part of this was because of the way the three of us together just let our friends slip out of hands. We didn't care about it at the time, it was the three of us against everyone else. But now i wish i went a different path. I wish i did connect with people from school better...i wish i did create bonds with everyone.

Soon enough, it was too late. Soon it just became two girls who ended up doing everything together. Realizing that we wanted to know these people we went to school with. But cliques, they were so exclusive...it was hard to squeeze in. Sure everyone was friendly, but we'll never be the two girls people would care to invite out. We dealt with it. Made friends with people from other schools instead.

Highschool is over, and now the whole reason i moved to Fremont in the first place is done with. So we moved back to San Jose. Well now here i am, have lost connection with those in Fremont and San Jose. Who do i have really? I wish i did things differently. You can say you don't need a lot of friends in your life, all you need are the ones that matter...but i barely even have the ones that matter. In life, it's important to build connections with people. Make friendships that will last, so you'll know there are people out there that do care for you.

I'm back in San Jose, and now i have to figure out how to build connections with new people. Wish me luck.