Got Problems?

Let me give you a little piece of advice. I've been through it, the freaking roller-coaster you call a relationship. It's just full of ups and downs. Being happy with one another and wanting to pull each others hairs out. 

A relationship relies on communication. 

First of all, you can't expect someone to just know something if you don't intend to tell them your thoughts on the matter. It's true what they say, a guy can not read your mind. No human on earth can. Unless...they miraculously have the ability to, then that's a different story. Tell each other everything you feel as you fell it. Don't like something? Let them know. Want something done? Let them know. You can't sit around dropping hints, and hope one of your big hints hits him in the head so he'll realize what you're thinking. Hey, some guys are actually pretty keen about that kind of stuff. They'll just seem to know what you want and what you're thinking...but somewhere along the line, even that guy will hit a wall and not know what's going on in your head. And vice versa of course. If you're upset about something, let him know. The problem isn't going to go away if you sit there with a pout on your face and force him to ask repeatedly, "what's wrong?". Most of the time you'll just respond with, "nothing" and eventually he'll give up on trying to figure out the problem, and you'll have another thing to be mad about. The original problem, and him not trying harder to pry it out of you. Girls can be nutcases. I guess just a select few. Talk things out, talk everything out. But know that there are certain things that you should bring up, and shouldn't. But whatever the case, it wont hurt (too much, if anything) to just talk things out and communicate.

All relationships have problems. Even the ones the seem to be most perfect. There's a problem. Say that your relationship is one that happens to have many of them. Many fights over the smallest things. It isn't necessarily a bad thing. Whatever the case, always try and resolve it amongst one another. If he isn't going to be the bigger man, then you need to take a couple deep breaths and confront him. Address the problem and who is possibly at fault. (Although sometimes, that may lead to another problem because many people don't like to be in the wrong.) Talk it out and make amends. Whatever you do, dont let the problem float about and then go talk to all your girlfriends about it. Relationships are between the two of you. Person A and Person B. No A,B,C, and the rest of the alphabet. You get the gist of it? You don't need to include all your girlfriends into your relationship world. You can tell them all the good stuff. Let them believe the relationship is peachy cream. Once in a while, with a problem that's really big could be an appropriate time to have consolement. For the small stuff, just keep between the two of you. Because remember, a problem will not get any better if you're talking to others about it rather than discussing it with your man. 

I guess that's all i had to say. Communicate. That's it. 

♥

360 turn.

It's as if i just made a full 360 turn with my life. I grew up here in San Jose/Milpitas up till it was time for me to go off to middle school. My mom gave me the news when i was in sixth grade, just as i was about ready and excited to go off to middle school at Rancho Jr. High with all my friends, that the we were moving to Fremont. I cried and pouted, but of course i had absolutely no say in it. It sucked.

Moving to a new school sucks. Moving to a new school when you're going off to middle school or even high school sucks a whole lot more. Why? Because at this point, kids have already figured out who their bestfriends are in elementary school, and they have already formed cliques. It also depends on how you handle the situation, along with how you are. And we all know, i am shy beyond belief.

I struggled trying to make friends, first two weeks i was completely alone. I spent lunch time in the bathroom standing there...waiting for lunch to be over. Finally i had hope, i met a girl who was also new and alone; however, she moved shortly after we became friends. Thus, leaving me alone again. From there i spent my lunchtime in the library, reading by myself. I hated it. Well it took time, but eventually i made friends. Not going to lie, but the perks of being pleasant to look at.

Eventually, friends from my old school and i drifted apart. And i moved on with the fact that i had to move to Fremont. I enjoyed the people i met in middle school. Off to high school, and eventually cliques formed in middle school got smaller and more exclusive. I went from having a large group of friends to only having two lovely ladies by my side. I suppose part of this was because of the way the three of us together just let our friends slip out of hands. We didn't care about it at the time, it was the three of us against everyone else. But now i wish i went a different path. I wish i did connect with people from school better...i wish i did create bonds with everyone.

Soon enough, it was too late. Soon it just became two girls who ended up doing everything together. Realizing that we wanted to know these people we went to school with. But cliques, they were so exclusive...it was hard to squeeze in. Sure everyone was friendly, but we'll never be the two girls people would care to invite out. We dealt with it. Made friends with people from other schools instead.

Highschool is over, and now the whole reason i moved to Fremont in the first place is done with. So we moved back to San Jose. Well now here i am, have lost connection with those in Fremont and San Jose. Who do i have really? I wish i did things differently. You can say you don't need a lot of friends in your life, all you need are the ones that matter...but i barely even have the ones that matter. In life, it's important to build connections with people. Make friendships that will last, so you'll know there are people out there that do care for you.

I'm back in San Jose, and now i have to figure out how to build connections with new people. Wish me luck.

Friends

I've had good friends in my life. Some stayed, and some have left me. The two that left me are doing good in their lives after highschool. It sucks because i don't have anything against them, but since they were once so close and dear to me i wish i can ask them how they're doing. Although i know they're doing great...great without me.

I still check up on them from time to time, via facebook stalking them or what not. Lol. Yah...
One girl for instance is studying abroad this summer in Italy. THATS MY DREAM! I envy that. Well no Italy exactly, i said i wanted to study in France. But i suppose anywhere in the UK would suffice. Well i'm proud of her, and i'm happy she's doing so great. She was once the girl i called my best friend, but for some reason she talked badly about me behind my back because she envied me. Well all i have to say to her is that there was nothing to be jealous about. You got the brains sweetie. That'll take you farther than anything.

The other one is doing her own thing. I guess in the end, maybe we weren't exactly suited for each other as friends anyways. Judging by the way she looks and dresses now, it's just complete opposite from what i'm used to. She's just completely different. Well i mean good for her though for finding herself and pursuing something she is passionate about. Alongside with getting out of this town and living on her own.

My other friends who are still around, are going on with their lives. I'm being strung around as though there is some type of hope that i'll be able to ask them to be a part of my wedding when i'm older. They're off at real colleges and have just finished their first semester as a college student. Now moving out of their dorms, and into apartments with their new friends that they met at school. Fending for themselves, and being adults. Either that, or they're starting college. Real college. Doing great things with their lives.

As for me, i'm at community college and i don't really know where my life is headed. I'm a little unsure about my current declared major, and that scares me a bit. I'm going to just stick with it anyways. I'm absolutely in love with my boyfriend, and sometimes i feel like maybe i love him a bit too much for my own good. Sometimes i don't know where my head is at. And i also don't think i've completely discovered myself...i have no passions in life. I keep hoping i'll meet great people so inspire me to do something. Or something will hit me and i'll realize what i truly want, and have a passion for.

I want to meet intellectuals, who can be both entertaining and can teach me things at the same time. No more hoodlum stuff...but i guess it'll be a while before i get pass this.

Someday i'd like to go to the UK. Just to go there i guess, i can't afford studying there.

♥

Inanimate Objects

We all have things that we care about hella, but then when you start putting inanimate objects before people that you "love" then there is a fucking problem.

You need to know whats fucking important. If it's a hobby, sure. That's not a problem. But it could become one if you're doing that damn shit all the time.

Drives me nuts.

One.

Happy Anniversary to my boyfriend and i! As of May 31st, that is.



Remember when we first started talking, you were out with your friends and i was at home listening to this song. Let Me Love You, and i texted you part of the lyrics that said, "you should let me love you..." and all of that. You responded to me something along the lines of, "only if you really do". I was completely enthralled by you. A year later, and i love you more than anything.
_____________________________________
My boyfriend and i celebrated our anniversary today, because he had work scheduled that day. Originally i was hoping to spend the day with him, but since he had graveyard last night he was sleeping for most of the day. So, he just came and picked me up for dinner. It was pleasant though. Sort of like i the movies when the guy goes to pick up the girl to take her out. He even brought me a bouquet of red roses! I really didn't expect him to get me flowers because he once said that he thought it was a waste of money. So when i opened the door and saw them, i was stunned! Definitely surprised me, and i wasn't so mad bout him taking days to come get me. (I was becoming irritated since i was hungry.)

We went to Maggiano's. Originally, he wanted to take me to Citrus because it was super super fancy, and he really wanted to go all out. I don't know. I've never even been to a place that was dummyass expensive before, so i wasn't really feeling that. Specially because we aren't exactly ballers, so i don't think we should be dinning as though we are. Lol. I mean, whatever i'd be down for it though! But we ended up going to Maggiano's. :)

I haven't seen him in a couple of days prior to tonight, so it was really nice seeing him. We had a lovely dinning experience at Maggiano's, although we didn't get a booth like we usually do. (We find that with a booth, there is more privacy.) We talked, laughed a lot. By the end of the dinner, we decided to have our dessert at the restaurant. And for some reason it was taking a really long time for the cheesecake to come out. It didn't really occur to me cause i was talking to my boyfriend, but i did eventually realize that it took a while. When it finally came, i didn't see the next part coming. The server put the dish down and i was so surprised! I guess my boyfriend had them put my gift on the plate with the dessert. I really didn't know he was about to have that happen. He told me that he came here in advanced to ask them to do that...which i still don't believe. But i suppose i have to. I was all smiles. So sweet of him to do that. Sitting there next to our cheesecake was a small little teal box. Mhmmm, Tiffany & Co.  I have never had anyone surprise me like this before! I felt like i was going to cry. Haha. Just because it was so thoughtful of him to go out of his way to do this. Brownie points for him. I also never would have expected him to get me anything from Tiffany's. Something about this place just screams, "every girl's wish" Or something like that. Jewelry is one thing, but jewelry from here is a whole other story. You ladies should understand. I mean we say we don't care, but if it's sitting right in front of your face on a plate of cheesecake, you can't help me grin from cheek to cheek. I felt myself blushing. Dinner was great. He didn't have to do so much, but he did. Throughout our relationship, whenever it came to gift giving, he never failed to go out of his way to blow me away! It's magnificent.

We went back to my house afterwards, so he can open up my gift to him. Seriously, after what he did for me i felt like what i got him would not compare to everything he did. And it really didnt. How do you top that!? If only there was a Tiffany & Co equivalent for men. I bought him a motorcycle vest since he's been raving about how he wanted one when he borrowed his friends bike. Perhaps i should have thought more into that because he doesn't even have a bike anymore. Well he loves the vest, but he doesn't have a bike. So i suppose we're going to go out to get him something more useful for him. I'm not very good with gift giving. :l However, he did love the scrapbook that i made him a lot. I made him a scrapbook. Hehe. Took a really long time with it also! I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it, but i did get a picture of my favorite section of the whole thing! (The beach and Boiling Crab.) This was my first time doing anything like this, and i've never put so much time and thought into something for anyone before. So i'm really glad he loves it. It was just a collaboration of our first one year together. I'm looking forward to seeing whats in store for us in the future. And this time around, i hope i'll manage to document many of the moments and memories of us together.

Here is to an amazing year, with the most amazing guy that has ever stepped into my life!

*Note to the boyfriend:
Thank you sweetie for everything you've done for me. You have impacted my life in such a positive way, i hope i have one the same for you. I'm truly blessed to have you in my life, and i'm glad i can call you mine. Our love is as strong, if not maybe even stronger as when we first started dating. You have really made me a happier person.

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as i'm living,

My baby you'll be.

♥