I'm sorry for my behaviors.
I'm sorry about that night that i did what i did.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Meh
When you look at me, you see a fun time.
Isn't that right?
A sweetheart with a wild side. Nymphomaniac, perhaps? Closet freak? Not necessarily, in those terms. During the midst of trying to find some sort of safe haven, i've taken the wrong turn and gotten lost along the way. I'm in a place where i just want to have fun, and that reflects very much on my persona and how i've been representing myself. I'm not taking things seriously, and that may just be why no one else takes me seriously.
The way i've chosen to spend my days as a twenty-one year old, actually isn't really all that wild. It's just how i interact with people i come across. I actually spend most of my nights at home, alone. Quite the contrary of what it may seem on social media, of course. But believe me.
...
When he looks at me, i feel that he sees me as...temporary. I've been through a lot, so my automatic response is to treat him as temporary also. See, if i don't establish any type of feelings, i'd be less likely to invest them into someone. Therefor, decreasing my chances of getting hurt...once again. The stares are empty, i don't know what his eyes want. They linger on me...
I don't know what it's like to be with someone genuinely anymore. Which is crazy because just about a year ago, it was just about all i knew.
He's just bored and lonely and quite frankly, so am i for the most part. It has to be clear to us that we are at the very least, slightly attracted to one another though. There's no other way that this could persist if that wasn't the case. Sometimes platonic company is nice, with a little electricity in between...neither of you really knowing what to do with it.
...
Okay, i'm going to go paint my nails now, byes.
Isn't that right?
A sweetheart with a wild side. Nymphomaniac, perhaps? Closet freak? Not necessarily, in those terms. During the midst of trying to find some sort of safe haven, i've taken the wrong turn and gotten lost along the way. I'm in a place where i just want to have fun, and that reflects very much on my persona and how i've been representing myself. I'm not taking things seriously, and that may just be why no one else takes me seriously.
The way i've chosen to spend my days as a twenty-one year old, actually isn't really all that wild. It's just how i interact with people i come across. I actually spend most of my nights at home, alone. Quite the contrary of what it may seem on social media, of course. But believe me.
...
When he looks at me, i feel that he sees me as...temporary. I've been through a lot, so my automatic response is to treat him as temporary also. See, if i don't establish any type of feelings, i'd be less likely to invest them into someone. Therefor, decreasing my chances of getting hurt...once again. The stares are empty, i don't know what his eyes want. They linger on me...
I don't know what it's like to be with someone genuinely anymore. Which is crazy because just about a year ago, it was just about all i knew.
He's just bored and lonely and quite frankly, so am i for the most part. It has to be clear to us that we are at the very least, slightly attracted to one another though. There's no other way that this could persist if that wasn't the case. Sometimes platonic company is nice, with a little electricity in between...neither of you really knowing what to do with it.
...
Okay, i'm going to go paint my nails now, byes.
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