Cater 2 U

I'm lovestruck.
Stuck.
Lost, confused.
Feeling pathetic,
my mind's so hectic.

Let me show you what i can do for you.
Let me cater to you.

♥

I Miss You

I'm more than tired of feeling this way. There is nothing more that i can do. I feel numb.

Time

If you could go back in time to a moment in your life to either relive the moment or to change something, would you? Why not, right?

There are so many moments I'd love to go back and relive. Just to have a fresh memory of it. There are moments I wish I can change, did differently. Does everything really happen for a reason - or is that bullshit? Depends on how you see the bigger picture I suppose.

Oh how I wish I can go back and relive the good moments. Or to do that one thing differently...maybe then I wouldn't be laying here at 6am sulking. But maybe everything happens for a reason...unless that's bullshit.

Clarity

I know i love you, 

I ain't tryna let those words slip. 

Pure bliss.

Fatuation,

When every move you make is fascinating.

Gravitating...

Take away the pain and i thank you for that,

If i ever get the chance, bet i'm paying you back.

Robert Burns

Oh, My Love Is Like a Red, Red Rose

Oh, my love is like a red,red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
My love is like the melody
That's sweetly played in tune.

So fair art though, my bonny lass,
So deep in love am i;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till all the seas go dry.

Till all the seas go dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt with the sun;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands of life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only love!
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my love
Though it were ten thousand miles.

                                 -Robert Burns

How Do I Love Thee?...

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

How do i love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barret Browning

Heineken from Holland

Oh what better way to study huh...nice cold bottled Heineken. I've been sitting here doing my homework for quite some time now...although my mind isn't really 100% in it right now. When is it ever? I just started this beer. Cheers! Cheers...to nothing. To sitting at home by myself and drinking while....while...nothing.

Wow. Half a bottle already. I hope this keeps me feeling well for a while, till i fall asleep. I want to sleep well tonight, and i only intend to drink one beer. Usually i take longer to drink, but shit. Way to go Kathy. How come you can't drink faster in public.

Twirl the brew inside the bottle...maybe i should start drinking wine. After all, a glass a day is good for the lady (me). This white boy told me a little something about wine. If you twirl the wine inside the glass and it sticks to the glass (like legs), then it's probably good wine. What do i know about wine...maybe he was bullshitting me. Any thoughts on that anyone? Classical music calms my soul. Calms me entirely. Gives me peace...

Half a bottle and i'm already a tomato. I feel my face flaming up gradually. Oh the perks of being asian...i actually feel that my asian glow actually makes me limit my drinking more because i don't like when my face gets all warm and red. Otherwise maybe i'd drink more if i didn't get asian glow.

What to do...what to do with myself...i'm thinking. Very deep in thought but so unsure of what to say, what to type out. I need someone to talk to, but i have no one...how so very sad.

I'm wishfully thinking. Hoping for a gracious miracle. Hoping tomorrow the sun will shine (metaphorically, because it's suppose to be cloudy tomorrow), hoping that it'll be a better day, hoping i'll get out of bed with a smile on me face...and will be happy throughout the day and the next.

I want to be drunk, and pass out. I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to know anything right now.

I'm done with studying. Thanks Heineken from Holland. You've been good to me.

Change!

If they're willing to put up with your crap over and over again, don't let them get away. And change yourself for the better. They love you enough to stay - at least i hope so - so don't make them put up with the same crap constantly...let them know you're trying to better yourself. Don't let them slip away...because when they do, who knows when you'll find someone willing to put up with your crap like that again? Who knows! Don't take the chances.

Good Luck.
♥

Video Games

Lately, my boyfriend and i have been spending a lot more time together ever since he got into his accident and was off of work for about a month. Maybe a little bit more time than we can actually manage. Frankly, i think he's a little tired of me being around all the time, but it's better to have my company than to be alone. I enjoy spending time with him though, even if we don't do much. I like his company.

Well recently we've found ourselves more bored than usual because we're trying to save money and gas. And of course you need to be willing to spend money to have fun. This past week or so we've spent a lot of time sitting in front of the T.V - he plays video games and i watch him.

It's really cute the way he plays video games. I'm amused by how he's so completely into it. He'd play Madden (football game), and when he does something amazing he'd stop the game and say, "Babe! Babe, look at this. Are you ready?" and then play the instant replay slowly explaining everything step by step what he did so excitedly. He's like a little boy, it's so cute! So although i just sit there and watch him play (he only has one controller so even if i wanted to i can't play with him), he makes the moment enjoyable by the way he engages me with his plays. Something i adore of him. I sure a lot of other guys are like that too when their girlfriends are sitting next to them. It's sort of sweet in a way, i've never had anything like this. 

Since his accident, i've been at his house a whole lot more than i used to me. It's sort of weird for me, especially because he doesn't get too much privacy, but i'm starting to get used to being around his family a little more now. Before i was sort of uncomfortable around them. But being at his house, especially in the evening, sometimes i barrow his clothes. And i wonder, is that weird?? Is it weird that i'm walking around his house wearing his big ass shorts and socks...i find it kind of funny. And i blush when his parents look at me seeing me dressed like that. I just can't stand being in my everyday wear for such a long period of time. When he's at my house, i have an extra pair of shorts for him to wear. Now i wonder if he's ever felt uncomfortable when he first would change into something more comfy and walk around my house. But for him it wouldn't be too awkward because he'd actually be wearing clothes suited for him. I'm talking about this because i'm wearing his shorts and socks in the photo i posted above...

Well, that's all.

♥

Just to Let You Know...

I could understand how someone would assume that any post about relationships or whatever would have something connected with my own relationship. That isn't necessarily true. Sometimes i'm talking on a general term, maybe because i'm experiencing it myself or someone i know is.

That is all.

Giants Game!

Went to my first sporting event the other day! (September 25,2015) Steven, a couple of his friends, and i went to a Giants baseball game at AT&T Park in San Francisco. Super cool experience, i've always wanted to go to a sporting event. They were playing the Arizona Diamondbacks i think...unfortunately they lost, which really sucked because i wanted to be excited for something. Haha. So we ended up leaving around the 7th inning because it was getting boring. I imagined baseball to be boring anyways. I actually want to go to either a hockey or football game though. The violence would make it exciting to watch. :p

Steven and i spent hella money on the concession stand food! We were the only ones in our party that actually went and bought food. Haha. The only thing i wish i got was the hotdogs...i saw a guy eating one and i was eyeing it. It looked sooo fucking delicious, but after all the snacks we bought we were too full to go get a hot dog. That's the only disappointment. Next time, i'm getting a hot dog for sure! But the churros and pretzels weren't even good. Such a waste of money, they were stale and cold. Rookie mistake, we should have known that! 

But overall, it was really fun to be there even though our team lost. 

♥

Beyond Wonderland 2012

I've never been to a concert before this and Identity festival. I was never able to imagine what listening to music live would be like. I thought that maybe it would be something like the videos of songs on youtube that are recorded live, and those kind of suck.

Going to this was just something else. I guess definitely the atmosphere had something to due with it. But listening to music live is just amazing beyond anything! It's sort of like once you hear it live, it's not really quite the same when you listen to it through the speakers of your computer. You know what i mean?

Beyond Wonderland was beyond amazing. I wish i took more photos though - especially with others, but my boyfriend and i strayed away from our group so many times. It was so hard to reunite with everyone again.



♥