Dating

I can't remember the last time i was taken out on a legitimate date, outside of a relationship. I mean i was in a relationship for quite some time. While i was in one, we only went on "dates" for special occasions. But otherwise, it was just regular outings to get breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, and such.

Those could be dates too, but when i'm saying a date, i'm thinking of something that was articulately planned for a special night out.

Come to think of it, i don't think my ex ever really took me on a one on one date before him and i started going out. And prior to that...i think i went on my first and only date when i was 16 on Valentines Day. So, i've only ever been on one date while i was single so far in my whole life.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about dating lately, because i've been approached to be taken out on dates. The thought of it gives me anxiety, and makes me feel incredibly nervous. Dates have so much pressure on them, i don't like the idea of it! I mean, it really does sound nice to be courted and all...but i just don't know.

Which leads me to another thing: I don't feel quite comfortable with having guys that i don't really know all that well, pay for me. I guess it's just the idea that if two people are going out together to get to know each other, why is it that only one person has the obligation to pay for everything? Do you know what i mean? I just feel like it wouldn't be fair, because what if i end up not enjoying it, or i'm not all that into him. I don't want to just tag along for a free meal. Doesn't feel too right. All this along with the idea, that i have some pride in myself and feel that in this century i should be able to pay for myself.

On a completely different note related to dating:

If you're in a relationship, you two should still go on dates. Not just go on a date because it's a special occasion, but go on a date for no good reason. I'm not talking about go get a bite to eat together and he pays for the meal, or go to the movies. Make it special. Plan a evening to go out to get dinner together. Dress up. Put on a dress, put on your heels, put on a pretty face and get dinner together. Keep it alive! Don't let it get boring. Go out of town together and do something new. Mix it up a little. Take trips to SF, go to the exploratorium, museum, anything. Don't fall into the routine of just grabbing lunch/dinner together and one of you pays for it. Make things special. Date night at home? Cook together, light up a candle. It sounds cheesy...but i'm just saying, do something different once in a while. Steer away from the ordinary everyday "date night" where you're super comfy in your pjs and looking totally natural. I mean that's cool too. But you remember that when you two first started, where you actually cared what you looked like in front of them, go back to that time once in a while. Try it, maybe it'll be fun...

I don't know, i never tried it. Because i got too comfortable. So, if it works, let me know!

Toodles.