Dating

I can't remember the last time i was taken out on a legitimate date, outside of a relationship. I mean i was in a relationship for quite some time. While i was in one, we only went on "dates" for special occasions. But otherwise, it was just regular outings to get breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, and such.

Those could be dates too, but when i'm saying a date, i'm thinking of something that was articulately planned for a special night out.

Come to think of it, i don't think my ex ever really took me on a one on one date before him and i started going out. And prior to that...i think i went on my first and only date when i was 16 on Valentines Day. So, i've only ever been on one date while i was single so far in my whole life.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about dating lately, because i've been approached to be taken out on dates. The thought of it gives me anxiety, and makes me feel incredibly nervous. Dates have so much pressure on them, i don't like the idea of it! I mean, it really does sound nice to be courted and all...but i just don't know.

Which leads me to another thing: I don't feel quite comfortable with having guys that i don't really know all that well, pay for me. I guess it's just the idea that if two people are going out together to get to know each other, why is it that only one person has the obligation to pay for everything? Do you know what i mean? I just feel like it wouldn't be fair, because what if i end up not enjoying it, or i'm not all that into him. I don't want to just tag along for a free meal. Doesn't feel too right. All this along with the idea, that i have some pride in myself and feel that in this century i should be able to pay for myself.

On a completely different note related to dating:

If you're in a relationship, you two should still go on dates. Not just go on a date because it's a special occasion, but go on a date for no good reason. I'm not talking about go get a bite to eat together and he pays for the meal, or go to the movies. Make it special. Plan a evening to go out to get dinner together. Dress up. Put on a dress, put on your heels, put on a pretty face and get dinner together. Keep it alive! Don't let it get boring. Go out of town together and do something new. Mix it up a little. Take trips to SF, go to the exploratorium, museum, anything. Don't fall into the routine of just grabbing lunch/dinner together and one of you pays for it. Make things special. Date night at home? Cook together, light up a candle. It sounds cheesy...but i'm just saying, do something different once in a while. Steer away from the ordinary everyday "date night" where you're super comfy in your pjs and looking totally natural. I mean that's cool too. But you remember that when you two first started, where you actually cared what you looked like in front of them, go back to that time once in a while. Try it, maybe it'll be fun...

I don't know, i never tried it. Because i got too comfortable. So, if it works, let me know!

Toodles.

Superstition

There's this thing i have where i don't usually like to talk about a guy that i'm interested in until i know for a fact it'll work out. I feel like i'll ruin all my chances if i talk about him to anyone. Which is such a hard thing as a female, because i like to talk about what i'm doing or going through. Or even who i've met. It's hard thing when i'm crushing hard, but have to try and keep it to myself because of this silly superstition i believe.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way. It's just some silly thing i've come up in my mind. Because it never works out for me when i blabber about my crush out loud to people. Makes me feel childish on top of that.

Oh silly me.

Snowglobe 2013

I never took the time to write about how Snow Globe was!
To put it absolutely simply: It was amazingly, perfect.

It was just the get away i needed. I was hesitant at first about going, because for one it was a lot of money to put down, and also i was nervous about being around 25+ people that i did not know. In the end, it was completely worth every penny worth. And i'm trying to put myself out there. Step out of my element, put myself in uncomfortable situations.

To start off, our cabin was absolutely amazing. It was two stories, with an incredible view. I believe there were five bedrooms, and a bunch of couches with pull out beds. It did all 25+ of us just nicely for the four nights that we stayed there. The first night, we had over twenty give people staying at the cabin. It was super rowdy, but it was chill. Considering we were all drugged up on something, or super wasted. Maybe even a little bit of both! It was definitely a very different type of socializing experience for me. I basically came to Lake Tahoe, only knowing one person. I was as shy as i usually was. I kind of did keep to myself a lot the first night. 

 It sort of did force me to eventually try and talk to people though. I mean people did talk to me, mostly the guys if anything...which is really saying a lot. But i guess some type of human contact was better than my completely isolating myself, right? Everyone was really, really friendly, which was really nice. The experience of being around a bunch of strangers, and still managing to have a good time with them, makes me realize that i really need to get away from where i'm at. I need to step out into a completely different environment, and force myself to socialize with strangers more often. It's the only way i can manage to make friends...well not the only way. But it's the best way i can think of, considering i suck at meeting people..

I was about to write about each night of snow globe, but then i realized that every night was equally (if not better) amazing! I danced each night away till my feet couldn't take it anymore. 

Which reminds me, so since i barely ever go to the snow, instead of investing in snow boots i went to the thrift store and managed to find a pair of little girl snow boots one and a half size smaller than my actual shoe size. It was a size 4, and i'm a 5.5. I was thinking that i could just suck it up, and walk around snow globe with it. Well after the first night, my feet were okay. They kind of hurt a little bit, but they were manageable. After the second night, however, my feet were fucking huuuuurtinnnn like a bitch. I was seriously waddling the whole 10 minute walk back to the car saying "ow, ow, ouch, ow" in my head the whole time. I couldn't even concentrate on conversing with other people, because i was hella too focused on my feet lol. 

Anywho, since my feet hurt hella bad, i didn't want to go to the after party with everyone else after the second night. I stayed home and chilled with some people that stayed behind as well. It was chill, indeed.

 Surprisingly, i didn't take that many pictures of my experience! I actually neglected my phone a lot on this trip, which is actually a good thing. Only means i had a good ass time. But it's not very often that i can do that. When i'm home, i'm always with my phone. On this trip, i was able to just leave it in my room, and go run around. Now  that's a real get away. To get away from life, stress, and technology. I'm sort of sad though that i didn't take a lot of pictures. All i have now are my memories. 

With the few pictures that i found surfacing Facebook, i was in a lot of photos with the strangers i met. I guess they're my "acquaintances" now. 

To the left, is a photo of me in a hot tub after the first night of snow globe with all my new friends. It was funny because we were all sitting in there saying how funny it was that majority of us literally all met each other that same night. That hot tub was some shit though. We overflowed it that night because there were too many of us sitting in it. It was so cramped, that we all just stacked our legs on top of each others, hahaha. I definitely need one for my future home. Or actually, i need a big bath tub. That's what i need. But having something like that is just so relaxing. Either to just chill in it in the middle of the day, or after a long day of getting turnt/plurnt. Lol. 

Excuse the photo of my above the hot tub one. It's a funny one though, haha. I'm not very decent there. On New Year's Eve, we rented a limo for all of us to go to and from Snowglobe, since we knew we were going to get hella fucked up for that night. New Year's line up was dope though. I saw Snoop Dogg live! He was honestly my favorite performer of the whole event. I just enjoy that type of music more than EDM/Trance/House/etc. The only downside is that Cut Copy performed for the New Year's countdown, and they were not craccin at all. I didn't groove to them as hard as i did with all the other sets lol. Which is really such a shame. But it's okay, the new years count down will still dope as fuck. I got on this guy's shoulders during the countdown, and saw the fireworks. Hehe ^_^

We stayed another night, and went to see Borgore. Unfortunately, i got way too drunk that night and can't really remember how that night really went. All i know is that i was hella drunk, and fell on my ass in the middle of a crowd. Hey, i warned everyone at least before hand that i was going to be sloppy -- no holding back. Haha. But what a way to bring the New Year, even though i don't remember that night very well. 

The only thing i wish i did was catch the sunrise. I actually almost did, but i was facing the wrong direction. I felt like such a dumbass, hahahaha. It's alright though. The view over there was really so beautiful though. It was perfect every morning when i would go out to the balcony, sipping on a mimosa or something, and smoking my recovery cigarette. Oh i smoked a lot of stoges in Lake Tahoe, where i seriously feel so gross about it. The good thing is, i haven't picked up a stoge since. Hahah. What better way to stop, than to smoke till you can't stand it anymore. Just kidding, that was a joke. 

I honestly miss it so much. Just the nature of it. The environment was great, the people were great, the experience was completely worth it. If the opportunity arose, i think i'd really jump to it and go again. The group was amazing, and they were all saying that we should get together again next year and go together. If it happens, that'll be some shit. Until next time, Lake Tahoe. 

Just Cause...