Sweat

I've been sick for the past 2 weeks, and couldn't go to the gym and workout due to my illness. Last week i was actually starting to feel better, but would get tired easily so i didn't feel up to par to work out. So after being sick for about two weeks, boy did it feel fucking great to get back in it. Unfortunately, my mom is going to be leaving for a month for vacation and i don't think i'll be able to go to the gym...for a whole month. Perhaps i'll go with my friends or something. 

Is it weird that i sort of love sweating sometimes...specifically when i'm in the sauna. It just feels to invigorating, in a way. I'm not sure how to really explain it. Sweating when it's humid on a hot summer's day is not the type of sweating i like though. Haha.

I'm asked why it is that i'm so determined to go to the gym, like "one day wont hurt to miss" because after all i need to gain weight, not lose it. I'm not going to lose weight, i'm just going to be fit and tone up. But another thing is that, it makes me feel great about myself. If someone was to ask me what my hobby was, i think i'd have to say it is to work out. Someone told me though that it's not really a hobby...well i really don't have anything else i enjoy doing more than this. It's the endorphins i'm striving for.

And on a somewhat relatable note (since i'm talking about working out), here's a quote from Steve Maraboli's book, Life, the Truth, and Being Free. I found what he had to say really beautiful and inspiring.

"Get Off The Scale! You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like you capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the Scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because i have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful."

Although i'm not striving to be skinnier, i'm aiming to gain weight and hoping to maybe even become thicker. I don't think that's really all that possible though because of genetics. Whatever the case, this is beautiful what Maraboli had to say. Skinny or fat, we all have our insecurities.

♥

Update: 12/16/12

I've been so busy lately, which is a good thing in a way. I started working about three weeks ago, and from then i've just been doing work and school every other day till evening. Now that school is over for break, i'm going to be starting to work full time starting tomorrow. Everyday so far has been sort of the same routine. Work/School, come home in the evening, have dinner, go to gym, come home and rest for the next day. I'm glad i have weekends off though, except i've been helping my sister out again whenever she has weddings - just to get extra cash. Been chasin' paper :p

So this is exhaustion? Working, not having time for yourself? I haven't had the time to just sit here and blog about my thoughts, or to chill and do my nails! I don't have the energy when i get home from work/gym to clean. Well i do, i just want to because that couple hours after the gym is the only time i get to just relax. I'm not exhausted, per ce...just tired. I wonder if i'm over working myself? You know, sometimes i'd be so tired, but i'd still conjure up the energy to go to the gym for a little bit. I could get a day off, my work is pretty lenient. What for though right? I like being busy...for once. I'm not over working myself. I'm doing life.

Gym progress update:
I'm going to the gym four days a week now instead of five, just so then i can have some sort of social life on the weekends. If i happen to have nothing to do on Fridays, i'd go to the gym. I think i need to take it down a bit with my work outs. I'm doing good with flattening out my stomach, but at the same time i think i'm getting skinner...which is not good at all. I think after i'm satisfied with my tummy, i'm going to fatten out again. I honestly don't know what to do about my weight problem...i need some protein bars or something! If anyone that's reading knows any way for me to get healthy fat (that wont just sit at my stomach) please share!! I've also started to do yoga, twice a week. I hope to increase my flexibility and whatever else yoga is suppose to do for me. I'm getting used to it, because when i first started out it was really hard!

I feel like in really contradicting myself, trying to get fatter yet i keep going to the gym? I really do want to gain weight, and get a bit chubbier. I want to be at least 110 or something...it's never been easy for my to gain weight. But i'm not going to the gym to lose weight, i'm going to tone up, get some muscle weight, and lose tummy fat! I need to talk to someone about this.

Endorphins. :)
No progress shot today.

I guess that's it for now! Toodles.
♥