misc.

For some reason, i feel like i don't have school tomorrow.
I wish i didnt have school tomorrow! I'm so tired of school at the moment.

I need to do something with my life. Shoot...I spent most of the day today in bed sleeping. Thats so horrible. Its like, if im not sitting in front of my laptop or cleaning then i'm asleep. Unless i'm out and active. So i don't understand why my mom just wont let me do my own thing cause i'm such a vegetable at home. Pretty much useless, unless she needs cleaning done. But seriously, this girl needs some fresh air and sun on her face. Then again...its not like if she actually lets me out everyday or sump, there would be something for me to do. I need to be more in contact with people so i can entertain myself. But most of the people i hangout with are now out of highschool and work or are in college. Blahblahblah....

PROM IS COMING UP!

well...its coming up in about a month : March 6th
oh my effin` goodness! O:
ITS TIME FOR PROM DRESS SHOPPING...anyone know of a place i can find cute dresses? I want a cuteass dress, no shit right? In either navy, maroon, or white.

Whats your opinion with me in a long gown-like dress? Because i want a above the knee dress, but those are hard to find. Well its hard to find a nice one atleast. The thing is there are hella cute dresses but i'm not tryna spend about 300 dollars on a dress. So not worth it. If i spend that much it better be some amazing dress. Sigh...im excited though. And i don't even know if im going yet. Rofls, depends on if i get asked or not. :x

I want a Blackberry...missing my old phone sooo much.
Missing the phone service as well. Its like when i talk to someone on the phone i keep getting cut off or the call drops. AND ITS ANNOYING AS FCK...& on top of that my phone is gay also...

I'm still on a mission to find a blackberry on craigslist. My only problem is...how am i gonna go retrieve the phone from the person...i can't drive. Unless i wanna wait till i get my lic. But i dont exactly want to do that.

No fair cause Christina got a blackberry shortly after i changed to metro...and now Lisa is bouta change over to metro and get herself an iPhone. WOW. Rub it in more, will yah? I was bouta get an iPhone...but noooooooooooooooo. Fck the economy. Fck metro and its ghetto phones and service. Metro is getro. Niggaaa Please. I just don't understand.

I guess i'm a bit materialistic. But hello? I want the best things in life. It makes me happy.

My brother is making me a burger! HEHE. How nice of himm.
Times like this i just love my brother. I'm so excited to eat...and for a while there,i thought i wasn't gonna have dinner. :x Sweeeeeeeeeeet.

mmMMmmm that was yummy and satisfying. I also had tater-tots. :D
Now i'm all happy.

Lately...nothing much has been going on. Nothing to make me think hella hard, nothing to make me feel down and nothing to make me hella happy. So i haven't really been motivated to blog. I think my mind is kind of blank and...i feel like i forgot how to express myself. I forgot how to blog! Well no...its kind of like this whole post today was just a bunch of random nothing. Which it is. But i dont like it like that. Sigh. No other choice i guess.

First behind the wheel lesson tomorrow! I'm super excited and scared at the same time.
I hope nothing bad happens...

As dirty as this may actually be...it speaks to me. Okay well not really. But yakno what i mean! I hope...sounds nice, and hey its pretty damn accurate. Its like a poetic way of telling a girl you wanna get in her pants. Or she may just end up thinking youre a pig a slap you. Who knows.

Love is a Sensation,
Caused by Temptation;
To feel penetration.
A guy sticks his location,
In a girls destination -
to increase the population
for the next generation.
Do you get my explantion?
Or do you need a demonstartion...

Heres a song:


tapping you in morse code

I found this on Andrews Blog. I like it. :3

Little Big Planet

I really wish you would just become gay. You piss me off sometimes. Wtf?!

Saturday Saturday. Oh yeah, SPCL?
Haven't been there in about two weeks and well...for once i was in charge of something. Not like i wanted to. Whose bright idea was it to put me in charge anyways? Well anyways, i wasn't there for two weeks and i dont know what the hell happened with my group. o_o

Andrew IMs me at like 12am last night telling me he lost the script. How come he's coming to me when i haven't even been around. I thought that by that point they woulda just given the whole "leader" part to someone else. Well he was bitching and telling me that he's the leader now and all that crap. Okay great. Phew. Right? Naaah. Interesting though. Anyways, went to SPC today and finished up the Tet skit. It was super hectic. I didn't know what i was doing. :c
Im not sure how this is going to turn out next week. I hope its all good though. The students seemed liked they knew what they were doing...well kind of. I'll be super thrilled if everything falls into place. o:

Gosh today was just boring. My Saturdays are generally boring though.
Got a super amazing compliment today. For some reason that single compliment meant a lot.
AHAHA.

My sisters going to Vietnam tomorrow morning, and shes gonna meet her husband there. Gonna be gone for two weeks & her daughter is gonna be staying with me. Lets just hope she doesnt kick me everynight. I don't know how ill be able to sleep like that. :l

Hopefiully she comes back with stuff for me :) heheh.

In my bucketlist, i wanna go to a rave. Yeah, i want to go to a rave before i fall asleep for eternity. Naaaaah i wanna go to a rave before im 25. Hell yeah, that would be some trip, huh? How come they're so expensive though?! No fair. I'm not made of money! >:(
...But i guess if its a party all night long type of thing. I guess i'm down. Once in a lifetime, gotta just do it! Maybe its something to invest in. Ahaha. Not really though.

Dance dance dance all night long. Christina doesnt want to take me to her Sadies, cause im not taking her to mine. I guess thats fair. LOL.

I want people to see me for more that just the looks. Wait...what looks. I mean like i want people to seee the inner Kathy. Yakno? No one ever really stops and tries to get to know one another now a days. And why is that...How come girls dont just talk to each other without all that judgmental business. Cause i would really love some more girlfriends that i can just go out with. A big group of girls hanging out together. Now thats what i call fun.

OMG SEXY HOT MOB OF GIRLS
yeah thats right. sex-e. oh yeah.

Cant we just all get along on this little big planet?!!?!

I love anything lovey dovey. I love sappy love movies. Hopeless Romantic remember? But right now fur some reason i just really dont want to be exposed to anything like that. Get all that couple shit out of my face. Stop with the love songs. Stop with the lovey dovey kiss kiss shit. I dont wanna hear about it or any of the above. I'm just gonna say idgaf and push it aside. All that shit is sooo....i dont even know. Im just bouta say thanks, but no thanks. Kay? I dont want a male of any type. No boy, man or guy. Nah nah nah. Gtfo of here. Thnx lover. ♥

& tomorrow or the next day, you'll see me talkin bout some shit related on love or relations, or boys. Cause ya'll know i love love.

I want to go...on a journey and just have a fckin kickass time. :3

Heres a song:



honey, i want a drink. Yes please and thankyou.

one hunnitt

FINALS ARE OVER FOR ME!
Yeeeee. (;

English final was just ridiculous.

Part I : Death of a Salesman
That was alright. Not that bad. I think i got atleast a C on it...and well im okay with that. Only cause i didnt really study as much as i should have. Meaning i never really finished the book. I based my answers on everything that was discussed in class. But of course Mrs. Wong didn't go over every single detail...so i got most of the questions wrong. Skipped a shitload of questions. But i'm thinking, and hoping that all the questions i did answer are correct. Fingers crossed...

Part II: Death of a Salesman Vocab
Aced that shit with flying stars. Studied all 38 words before going to bed. And it was hella easy. Haha. No shit, words arent that hard. Well they can be. I was happy i did well on that. Or i better have otherwise...wtf?! Thanks for the people who helped me study last night. Aahah. Much appreciated. Or i mean thanks for the person who helped me study last night...and Jordan for lightweight helping with the word reproach. As well as allowing me to use all these words on you as if it were my colloquial language. (: - right? did i use that correctly...

Part III: Death of a Salesman Essay
Shit...this fucked me over reeaaaaalll bad. I don't even know. My mind totally blanked out and believe it or not, i forgot how to format and write essays...after my intro i was just like fuck this is really hopeless. I didn't even finish. Or i tried to finish, but that was the WORSE essay i have EVER written. Shit. I was so sad. My mind was so out of it. I wasnt even sure what i was writing...bunch of shit on my paper. :x So i really hope i did good on part one so the score evens out. I'll cry if i failed it. And by fail i mean C- or below. Sigh.

Intermediate Alg final was a piece of cake. I got 37/40 though...LOL im dumbshit huh?
Its okay, whatever. Didn't stress so much over that and i still have an A, and its not like i bombed the test o_o I skipped one problem cause i couldnt figure out how to do it correctly. Kept getting a fraction. Bleh. Its coooooooooo

ROP was pointless today. I came in late cause Lisa and I were planning to not go in the first place...but then Vivian texted me and said that Dr. Cliff asked bout Lisa, so we had Justine drop us off. Ended up just watching Transformers 2 for two hours. Not bad i guess. I rather do that then sit at tap. Aha. Course.

100% on permit tho niggaaas (;
Lets Celebrate...

Just came back from the DMV. Took my permit test.
& to my surprise, i passed with flying stars. o:

I thought i would have gotten atleast 5 wrong cause i was hella nervous.
But i guess it really is just that easy, like people said. Common sense huh? I guess i do have some! Hehehe. Well my 100% hella made my day...if only i can go out and celebrate.

So tomorrow is finals for fifth and sixth period. & since i dont have a 5th & 6th, i dont have to go to school! But im thinking bout actually doing something while people are at school rather than just sleeping. I was thinking...whats the point of having the day off when everyone else is at school? I can't really do anything. Not like Lisa or Justine would right...Aaha. Well they might, i'll talk to them bout it tomorrow i guess. I have a day tomorrow to enjoy. Liveee it up. Kinda not really. Not such an important day. But i kinda wanna see people.

Who doesn't have school tomorrow, and would like to hangout with meee in the A.M? :p

Get @ yo girl. 8)
ahah...

Office T.A & History

812pm: i just woke up from my nap...and now i dont think i'll be able to sleep tonight.
Last night, i had a bad sleep. I kept waking up at night. And each time i wake up i think its 6am and that i need to get up for school, but i can't cause im too tired. Then it clicks in my mind that its actually not six because my alarm never went off. And then each time i wake up i forget what day it is. I continuously woke up thinking its one of the weekends or Monday. Restless, Restless. Oh yeah, and my neck still hurts :/

First Day of Finals
Well it really sucked that i had to go to first period today and sit in the office for two hours. I really just wanted to sleeeeep. I didn't do much of anything. I tried to study for English, but that was hopeless. Trying to re-read the play again didn't get me anywhere because my eyes got so heavy. And on top of that, the stupid office is so cold. That place really doesn't have a heater. I'm so glad i am about to transfer out of theree. For second semester, i think i'm going to take Biology to make up for my credits. Shit! I really don't want to do that though...because i would have better chances of passing that in summer school...and this is just about to add a shitload of stress on me. Sigh, gotta do it though. Like Mr. Sugden said, i just gotta stop taking the easy way out.

History final was wack. I bookmarked some pages in my book, but that didnt really help me at all. Ended up using the index for most of it. But then i still ended up guessing on almost...everything. Half way through the final Mr. Evans told us that...we could discuss the answers among the people around us. And actually it wasnt that bad. He even gave us answers if we couldn't find it in the book. But then of course, i didnt want to ask anyone for any answers. The thing is that i know absolutely nothing in that class and the people around me are smart. And well...for me i don't want to ask people to just feed me answers. Cause i know if i ask for one answer, i'm just going to want MORE answers but im not just gonna sit there and ask for it all...cause they all know im dumb, asking would just prove how dumb i really am ._. Also, i dont really talk to the people around me. So i only would ask around for answers if i could give people an answer in return, so that way its fair game. Yakno? And since i couldnt provide that, asking people to give me answers for basically the whole test, wasn't a choice. When Mr. Evans said that we can get answers from other people, instead of lighting up with joy, i was like "fuck...thats not gonna help me!" Basically this final was more like group class work that had everyone freaking out rather than a Final. But really, why didn't he just feed us the answers????

Oh yeah...so since everyone around me were sharing answers and i was sitting there hopelessly flipping through the book for answers of my own. I basically just kept my ears pealed to listen for the answers people were giving each other. I still think bad cause people got different answers for one question and i just couldnt keep up with which on is actually the correct answer. Sigh. Atleast i didn't fail. :L

Tomorrow is English. Now im hella nervous for that! Wong's test are hella hard...and stressful. I feel like everything is trick question. And you gotta actually study for that stuff, even if you read the book. But if you read the book and pay attention in class you would be lucky to walk away with a C. Which is what i usually get cause i dont study. :x

100 questions on Death of a Salesman + Essay. & 48 vocab words. FML
Questions will be "read between the lines" so hella complex...and descriptive, in depth? I can't think of the word. Fuck. This is gaaaaaaaaaay. I'll study as soon as i finish blogging.

& then last but not least, i have my Intermediate Alg. Final. Which is about to be lightweight stressful with all the mat i would beed to do. But it'll be cake. And im not too worried about that. Lets not jinx it though right, cause i dont wanna come into class tomorrow and ending up having to take a hardass test....o:

Im just waiting for Friday to come. What am i gonna be doing anyways on that day? Just stay home?...cause its not like people will be out doing things in the AM cause most of everyone will be at school. Unless my girls want to do something. But i think i rather just sleep.

My brother and his girlfriend currently live in the garage. His girl wants to move out. They're looking at condos now and they might be moving out soon. Wow...thats so weird, my brother is about to move out and be on his own for the first time everr.

Im planning on getting myself a Blackberry Tour from Verizon and flashing it to use for Metro Pcs. I MISS MY BLACKBERRY SO MUCH. Well first of all i need to find out if flashing a Blackberry from Verizon is possible. Does anyone know any information on that? I really hope so...or i'll be really devastated.

Also...is 200 dollars on a blackberry worth it? I'm not sure, cause it is just a phone. But something good to invest on if im gonna be keep the phone for a long time, as well if the flashing thing works. Also if i hella love the phone. And hell yeah, i love the phone.

Something to think about.

Update on the growth of Chowders puppys.
+ a look on what they look like since i never posted up a picture.



CUTE HUH. i know. :3
My brother made the video. The music reminds me of Sims.

Finals

Sometimes when i listen to music while i blog, i loose my train of thought.
But i guess thats how it is when i do anything with music on. Like reading or studying?

Didn't take my permit today. Wowowwoowow. :c
Went to the DMV at 330 and got my number around 350?
Stood there and waited...and apparently i'm not aloud to take the test after 430, and by 430 my number was still not called. So no hope for me with getting my permit. My mom and i were planing to just leave but some lady told us that we can get all our paperwork stuff finished and take my picture today and come back some other day to take my permit. So i guess thats better. My number finally got called around 5.

My picture is ugly...But i guess its okay...i have to live with it for about...5 years!

Hmph. If thats how it is in black and white, just imagine how it is in color. 10x as bad!
Cause everything just looks better in black and white right?
& i messed up on my signiture cause i wasnt paying attention. But im not too concerned about that. ahah. My mom was saying how ugly my signiture is. Well i guess?!

Lisa and i didn't go to ROP today. Which is all bad on Lisa's part. :x
But its not our fault! We didn't have a ride there!!...it was hella hella cold and Lisa and i ended up walking to Subway. Yeah walking, felt so pathetic. LOL. Walked there, had a sub for 5.49 and posted it for a while. I love to post it with Lisa and just talk. Its nice yakno? Well then we just walked back to my place and she fell asleep as i studied for my permit :x

Gosh dammit. This morning the weather looked cold but the air was kind of warm...like a cool summer morning. Still cold, but not too cold. So i wore a long sleeve...

Well fucking, during first period while i was walking around to give office summons to teachers, it started POURING. Maybe not pouring...but raining a lot a lot a lot. It was very sad to be in. I swear i am about to catch a cold or something...Well i got lightweight soaked. My cute little moccasins got hella wet and my feet got wet. My shoes are still not dry, and i think i need to go out and get a new pair. Cause now it looks like shit :c Those things arent meant for the rain.

I need boots dude. Yup.

F I N A L S
Fuck I Never Actually Learned this Shit

Finals start tomorrow.
FUCK! I don't know what i'm suppose to study for.
I am soo fucked for History...and lightweight fucked for English.
Fuckity Fuck.

Minimum day for the next three days though.

& the class schedule go like this:

Wednesday - 1st & 2nd Period: Office T.A & U.S History
Thursday - 3rd & 4th Period: English & Intermediate Alg.
Friday - 5th & 6th Period: MVROP Medical Assisting

Two hours of each period w/ 15 minute of break. Then we all get out at 12 something.
TWO HOURS OF OFFICE T.A ?! Wtf am i suppose to do in the office for two fcking hours?! Well i guess i can sit there and study for History...Yeah, i guess. Speaking of History, i have no idea how i am suppose to be studying for that shit. Its open book though, and i think i should take advantage of that. Or i mean, im going to be taking advantage of that (maybe..) Well...i need to figure out what we learned this pass semester so i'll know what to mark in my book. Cause i seriously have no idea. So fml on that. :l

This shows that i really should start paying attention more. Ahhh.

English final is going to be all on Death of a Salesman and i guess all i have to do to prepare for that is re read the play. I wonder how long that would take. Maybe i can do it. But if all else fails with re-reading that thing. I can just do the study questions, and go over notes. 100 + questions on a play, along with essay? Oh shit. Really? Im not sure, wasnt exactly paying attention. :x

Intermediate Alg. is gonna be cake. But no matter how bad i do...i doubt that it would even damage my gorgeous grade in that class. I have hope for me with that class. Haha. Mr. Sugden is mad at me...cause he thinks im lazy. Well i guess i am. Well he thinks i'm taking the easy way out cause i'm a smart cookie. Which i guess i am...cause i'm suppose to be in Algebra 2/Trig. Sigh...wasting my time in that class honestly. But whatever, i'm going to Community college anyways right? Yeaahh.

No Final in ROP & well..i actually dont even have to go to ROP on Friday. So basically...i have no school on Friday since at mission its only 5th and 6th period. So FCKYEAH.

I guess my week of finals will be from Worse classes to the easiest. Ending my week with a chill ass, no school filled day.

Going to Tahoe? Not sure on that plan yet...but possibly. If so, then im leaving Friday morning to Tahoe while people are at school taking their final. THAT IS only if my mom is okay with the plan...which i seriously hope that she is. I really wanna go. Otherwise though...i'll find something to do. Who wants to spend a day with me :3

Oh yeah and upadates on what car i am getting...
Apparently the new car my mom got over the summer was intentionally for me. Well when she told me that i was just like wow thanks for not even letting me know about thatt. I wouldve liked to pick the color of the car...well anyways. The Toyota Corolla. I guess i'm okay with that...just im not so thrilled about the inside. But whatever?!

Well i told my mom i rather have the Honda Accord. I don't know. She said its up to me. She just doesnt want me having an old car that would shut down on me. Well i wish she would have just let me go and pick out the car, if it was gonna be for me. :l

& another thing is the lack of functions. Its so ghetto on the inside. No lie.

Well she said its my call. The Accord or Corolla. Which one should it be...
How bout we just trade in one car for another one. Sike.

But who am i to complain, right? At least i'm getting a car...i guess it just doesnt fit my preferences but lifes just unfair sometimes. ITS OKAY...grrrr. im still unsatisfied.

But lets just not be a spoiled brat now, kay? Well sure i suppose :x

Hyper Flexibility

Craving for Taro Milk tea from the Tea Station.
I hope i can go tomorrow during lunch. :D

TAKING MY PERMIT TOMORROW
FCK YES!! Finally....I'm so nervous. i haven't exactly studied that much. So fml there. I'll go continue studying for that later after this post though.

So i guess after all my hard work in my medical assisting class, i'm going to be getting that internship! But the downfall to this is that since i didn't turn in my shot records with my updated shots, i wont be able to intern at Kaiser or Washington. & that's what i was aiming for! I turned in my shot records, but dr. cliff never returned my check list to me telling me what shots i need...Damnnnnnniitttt. I feel like there really isnt any point in interning at some clinic. Cause first of all, I'm tryna be a NURSE but im here as a Medical Assistant. I don't even know how i would describe what that is. Well...i can coupe with interning as a Med. Assistant at a hospital, but i don't exactly want to intern as a Med. Assistant in some clinic. Its not the same! So i was thinking that maybe...i can just sign up to intern at Washington myself, through Mission and see how that would turn out. Don't know, something to consider though. Was really hoping to be able to get into a hospital though. :c

I gave my winter ball picture to Mr. Epler so he can post it on his wall for the whole world to see. Today i went by to his classroom and he gave it back to me! He wants me to write a note on the back of it. I'm like okay sure thinnggg sir. But what the heffalump are you suppose to write on the back of a picture to a teacher? That is both thoughtful, funny, and appropriate? Its not like he is appropriate anyways. Well deng im just kind of stuck here. So far i have :

Hi Mr. Epler! :>

Vivian gave me a movie to watch online. To keep me away from sitting by myself at night and thinking about useless things. HEHE. Thanks. I haven't watched it yet, since i've been studying today. So maybe whenever I'm not doing anything (:

I get to watch The Spy Next Door online! Yee.
I love Jackie Chan. I didn't know he still did movies. Cool guy!
My daddy loves him too. ahah. He would. What Asian man wouldn't...

Want to know whats so cool about my arms? They're hyper flexible.
Yeah, i bet yours aren't! Just kidding...a lot of people have hyper flexible arms.
Many people are just hyper flexible in general. They can do that weird thing with their fingers...and i find that kind of gross to look at. Ahah.

The term "hyper flexibility" is the correct way to say that someone is "double jointed" because there is no such thing as being double jointed. To be double jointed, you would have to have two joints at each tendon. If your arms are double jointed...you would have to have two humorouses to have that "double joint" which is of course impossible, and no one has.

When people are "double jointed" they're actually just super flexible. Making it hyper flexibility.

Class Dismissed. :3

Valentines day is on Tet (Vietnamese new year) this year! O:
Well i thought about it, like nooo not on Valentines day! I want to be doing something that day. Then i was like wait. Aw...who cares, i'll be alone anyways.

But maybe possibly, go on a sextuplet date or more like...quintuplet date cause Helen and I will both be single ladies that night, except we'll be lesbians and be each others dates. :x
Dunno! We'll see. Plans like that never really seem to work out though...

Maybe...i can have a one night Valentine. Hehe. Who could possibly turn into...nope.

SWEET! Just took a practice Permit Test and i got 39/46
Bouta do this all night till i get 100%

WISH ME LUCK <3

Getting older, growing younger.

Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash.
Mobile phones are being used in class.
Detention becomes suspension.
Soda becomes vodka.
Bikes become cars.
Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?
Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero?
Your worst enemies were your siblings.
Race issues were about who ran the fastest.
War was only a card game.
And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.
When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut.
The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees,
and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
And we couldn’t wait to grow up.

And I couln't wait to grow up. Well part of me is still wishing to grow up. I want to spread my wings and fly. I want to go off into the unknown world and find myself. Yakno? I want to be older and test myself. Because when im older, when im legal...i will be able to. Because as a minor i have restrictions.

I can't do this, i can't do that. I can't be there, i can't go there. I have to be home at this time...no that is too late. But mom...but nothing.

I want to get married! I want to be with someone that i will love that loves me. That i want that wants me...and needs me as much as i will need them. My bestfriend that i will have with me in bed everynight to cuddle and sleep with. :>

I am truly a hopeless romantic. Right? haaa.

Then part of me is wishing that wow i wish i was still 5 again. The time when i started kindergarten. The grade where things were made easy. I was in school, but school was fun. Except for the part where i had to get dragged out of bed every morning. I made friends, school ended at 12pm, i got to go home with my daddy and sit on his lap and eat chicken - cause i love chicken, even as a kiddo. Never got in trouble. Got to play and eat all day no worries about anything. Nothing...nada. Cause boys had cooties and i didnt like them.

Its not like i've been screwed over so many times in my life to make my heart harden. To have me hold up a wall to protect myself from being screwed over ever again. But its just that...for some reason i have this strong dislike for guys.

But its funny cause as much as i hate them. I just love them so much, and its like i can't get enough. Cant live with em, cant live without them right? Hell yeah. Its pretty damn hectic how my logic in everything works. Yeah...

I was sitting in bed doing nothing. And when i do nothing...i think about the unnecessary. Well it just dawned on me that...well...im NEVER going to be satisfied. No one will satisfy me. Because everywhere i turn, there is another asshole standing at the corner.

Its almost like he had it planned. Like he smiled and shook my hand and said "i'm about to screw you over."

Maybe its not the guy though. Maybe its just me. Yeah maybe its me, maybe im the problem.

Really though, right now...im thinking to myself - Wow i'm wasting my thoughts on thinking about the what ifs and the jackasses. When i could clearly be thinking about better things. Im better off with them anyways right? Because they just mess with me. They mess with me and my mind. They make me think think think haaarddd. And i get sad over what? Over nothing! Yeah...Nothing. This is NOTHING. And yet im still thinking about it. Why am i thinking about it?

Jeeze never leave me to do nothing at any time ever. It leaves me thinking about nothing.

I dont even want to meet a guy. I dont want a guy to walk into my life and be the most perfect piece of perfection ever...no i dont want that. Okay hell fcking yeah i do. But what am i going to think? Cause i simply just fall for anything close to perfect that gives me the slightest bit of attention.

Gosh i disgust myself! :x

I just want to ask guys to stop screwing me over. Stop messing with my mind. If you want me come get me! Dont pretend you want me and walk out. Dont mess with me like that.

I wont crumble. I'll just be fcking pissed and dumbfounded.

Confuckulated: (adj.) causing or tending to cause confusion
Courtesy of the slang dictionary from Mrs. Wong. :3

You fucking confuckulate me.

Aint Gonna Tie Me Down

sometimes i think youre just better off being gay...

Worked at my sisters shop all day yesterday. It was surprisingly kind of fun. Not FUN, like i had a blast...but fun cause i actually helped rather than just sat there. She really wants me to actually start working there and helping. Cause she's always working by herself. Well i mean it aint that bad. It was pretty damn tiring though too. I hurt my thumb. :c

So basically all i did at "work" (cause im not getting paid...it isnt really work) was steam dresses, so they arent wrinkly and helped soon-to-be brides pick out wedding dresses. And to do that, i helped them get in and out of their dresses. So i got to see ladies half naked. Lucky me! Kinda. First couple was hella cute. The husband was handsome. And she was cute herself. But they seemed to be hella young. Even their groomsmen and bridesmaids. Looked like they were fresh outta highschool. And the bride was tall too. I thought she was on heels at first but she wasnt. Her mom was saying how she isn't going to wear heels on her wedding day cause she's too tall. And the bride was like yeah cause he's short. Stupid asshole. Aahah. Cause he wasnt hella tall also. Her husband was interesting to look at. :> AHAHA. Anyways...well they were all hella young. Well not that young. I was looking at them and thinking - Damn he must hella love her to actually want to get tied down this early in life. But i guess. He seemed like a gentlemen. She seems like a bitch. But i liked her. Rofls. The husband's little sister pissed me off though. Dumb girl mugged me. The rest of the time helping them i mugged her back. Damn gotta be kidding me.

Well that was the enjoyable couple. I enjoyed helping her pick out her dress. It was a quick process too. Cause she only had about 3 dressed to pick between. Plus her evening gown. But then later i had to help this other lady. And she wasnt as appealing as the first girl. Mostly cause she was midaged. Probably in her 30s, short and chubby. I mean she was cute though! Clothed...thats the downside of helping ladies getting in and out of their dress. I had to watch her get undressed so many times i actually remember what she looked like half naked. Oh my goodness. And she basically tried on half the dresses in the shop. Well not really...im exaggerating. Probably about 20 dresses, plus 10 more for her evening gown. Aiyaaahh. And thats how i hurt my thumb. It was not easy zipping her in. :c Well in the end she couldnt decide between two dresses so i told her to keep it in mind, and come back and tell my sister whenever she figures it out. Yeaaah.

Back to the previous couple before that. They came back a little later cause the in-laws wanted to see the bride in the dress. The in-laws had bankk. So they ended up paying for most of everything. Damn. That kinda sucks. But i guess? Turns out that the bride is actually knocked up. Thats why they were rushing to get married so early & so soon. Wedding is next month. And i am about to be there :) Yay! I like this couple.

My sister gave them a promotion deal on their wedding package. Since theyre such a good looking couple, my sister is giving them a free photoshoot. Highclass and edgy. Like a modeling thing. Cool! Cause my sister wants to use them and the pictures that will be taken of them, as samples to show to other couples. Nice huh. Gotta get myself a cutie. Haha either way...my sister better give me a free photoshoot too...

Well after "work" we were gonna go to Olive Garden, but the wait was too long, and we were starving. Ended up just getting Pizza hut and a movie and went back to her place and chilledd. It was nice. Aha. Watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and Just Friends on DVD. Good, cute, Chick flicks. Hehe.

Im so sad!
Feeling kind of lonely...but damn. Pretty rediculous. I can't stand boring people! Well yes i can, i mean guys. Guys that are hard to talk to cause they cant keep a conversation going. Too shy...too boring. I cant continue this talk with you at all. Driving me nuts.

My babygirl found a guy. He's sweet and sincere. He just better not fuck her over....

But i enjoy my life like this. Single and happy. No worries.
I feel like with my past experiences. Im just hardened with guys. I dont want them around really. Like i feel like no one can really make me happy. Or someone is seriously going to screw me over. Or something like...no one will even want me anymore. Seriously though? Not even worth to worry about. I'm fine like this. I've been smiling for days and days.

I think Lisa and I are going to join a pageant. :o
Something to look into! Good experience. Hehe. Maayyybeeee.

I want a jade bracelet. Gotta get me one.

& i need to study for my permit. ASAP. i need to get that shit done and over with. Shiettt.

This face of mine...

Shit it was just pouring earlier, and now its all sunny and nice.
The weather is hella way too bipolar. :L
Gayshit!

Woke up this morning and my right eye was swollen.
Whaaadafux?!

So i was standing there staring at myself wondering how the fuck my eye got swollen.
It wasnt a bug bite, cause my eye wasnt itchy or anything.
Well now great...i have a lightweight swollen eye (cause it wasnt THAT bad) and three pimples on my face making a perfect equilateral triangle...

Oh great...and then on top of that, my eyes kind of hurts and my right eye just looks like shit. Its red around my eye and it looks like i just got punched. & it stings! What the...

I tried to take a picture to see show but...you cant really notice that there is anything wrong.
But then again maybe i am just exaggerating. But i look horrible...

I dont know what it is, but i think its my makeup remover that created the redness around my eyes, causing the sting. So i dont want to wear makeup.

But now i just look like shit because me without makeup = a very tired ugly looking Kathy.
No lie either...

Sad though cause i dont even wear that much makeup, but swiping it off makes a difference. LOL. But actually maybe its only me, cause no one else really notices that much has been done...cept my sister. She notices everything -___-

actually i think people notice, they just dont say anything.

anyways anyways...im just waiting for my eyes to heal, and my blemishes to go away.

I WANT CHIPS! o: mmMMmmMMmm
goddaaamn im so hungry...
someone feeeed me. get me food! D:

Something that turns a girl on most on a first date with a guy would be that he is a good conversationalists. Not that he can talk about himself a lot, or can just go on and on. But that he knows how to keep a conversation going. Shows that he is a good listener and that he is someone that she can confide in. Hell yeah...cause seriously, someone who is hard to keep a conversation with is a no go. I hate having to think of something to say. I can try my best to keep a conversation going...but damn thats kinda hard. So how about a little help?

Shoot...how the hell do i make things more intersting, make shit more exciting? No idea. A bit stuck on this. Not so down for the boring fellas. No matter how cute you may just be.

My neck hella hurts like a mother bitch.
grgrjesmg. arrgg. so much is going wrong!

need help. need answers! how to get rid of all of this.

Bleh. Now im just really hungry. I feel like shit. I want to go out...but im a bit self conscious.
No makeup. & its raining...maybe go out and dress up hella scrub like.

Or i bet im bouta stay home tonight anyways. Oh well. Saw that comin'

I gotta sleep earlier. Sleeping late does no good to me. :c

Rain rain & more rain.

Today was the worst of it all. I have never experienced such horrible weather before.
It was so horrible...

Super fcking windy + rainy this morning.
I really do not know how i survived. I seriously felt myself getting pushed by the wind. I thought i was going to get blown away. I can't believe the secretaries actually made me go out into the horrible weather today...just to give stupid slips of paper to classes. -_______________-
& today, Sabrina wasn't there either to help. Not a surprise. That girl is NEVER there.
Specially on days of bad weather. And she leaves me to suffer on my own.
But Megan was there cause the person she was t.a-ing for wasnt in today, so she helped me.
She aint so bad. I actually talked to her. Aha. I dont talk to Sabrina. :x

I am breaking out like no other. More than before. :c
WHAT DO I DO! This is horrible.
Work the pimples i guess. Ahah.

And to add to all the things that are currently wrong with me...
My neck hella hurts & i have no idea why. I'm guessing its from the position i was sleeping in last night. Whenever i turn my head to the left it hurts.

Well yeah...my pimples are bothering the crap out of me. I have no solutions to this.
Nooo don't stare at me! Go away...

And im very sick of this weather. So sick of it! I can still hear the wind blowing right now.
When will this be over. Sigh.

Out of Cereal, Bagels and Waffles...what am i going to have for breakfast now.
Time to go grocery shopping!

I seriously need to finish my Community Service hours. I dont think im ever going to go pick up the 6 hours i did in SF at the Aids walk. But even if i do...that would still only be 6 hours done in total. And i need 40! Shiiit. So im thinking about Counseling for Science camp during spring break. But would that be a waste of a spring break?

The chances of me actually going out and doing something during spring break anyways!
...but then i could be missing out on some serious fun.
yet again, there will be more of times like that to come. I could spend my week away watching sixth graders and interacting with people...improving my leadership skills as well as completing my 40 hours of community service hours.

Okay, i think im down for that. Only if i can convince my friends to go with me so i wont be alone :x Lets hope so...cause theyre both done with their 40 hours of community service hours. Ahaha...and how come im not even close to being done? eh...not active in school thats why.

______________________________

I really dont understand how girls work. Haha. And i am one.
We sure are confusing as fuck huh...

I dont understand though...youre a beautiful girl. You're perfect.
PERFECT! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you at all...
I dont know where youre getting all this bullshit from.
Stop putting yourself down.
Youre not ugly. Youre not fat.
Youre gorgeous and perfect...

I actually have to honestly say that im so jealous of your body. Youre so slim. So fit.
Youre so healthy! You work out so much, and you eat right. Unlike me, i just binge on fast food.

I way less than you & im STILL actually fatter than you. My body weight consists of more body fat than yours does. Youre actually mostly muscle.

You gotta stop looking at yourself like youre ugly. Stop putting yourself down.
Cause when you put yourself down, youre really hurting me. It hurts me to see you be hurt like this because of yourself!

Stop doing that to yourself. I just wanna slap the shit out of you. Put some sense into that mind of yours. Do you not understand? Youre like the total package. Girl that any guy would want.
You smart, gorgeous, athletic, funny. You have personality. You have potential.

I dont want to hear this anymore. I cant take the negativity coming from you. I cant watch you put yourself down like this. Its just ridiculous.

Youre better than that...

Seriously hoping this is just a phase. Something that has to do with the weather.
Feel better though. :/

______________________________

& now fuck all the assholes that seriously thinks its okay to go off and take advatage of girls.
We arent fucking toys! You cant just play with us and put us away when youre bored and call us up again when you need to. NO! It does not work like that.

We are either there or we are not. Seriously?
Get your head straight. And tell us wsup. Dont just leave us hanging there in midair, wondering what the fuck is going on.

But we are actually smarter than that, we're just foolish and naive and fall easily.
Even though we know whats in store for us, we still cave and go for it.

Another reason why i hate boys so fucking much.
Stop hurting us. Stop messing with us.

fucking asshole!
No respect at all.
& you wonder why im always fucking muggin you.
Dumb son of a bitch, you dont even know. You dont even know how bad i want to rip out your balls and shove em down your throat.

All the assholes in this world...when will a nice decent guy come by and make us happy...?

Its not even worth it i tell you. None of it is worth it.

We have been through too much, experienced too much. Seen it all happen. And it crushed us and now we're dead. Things arent seen the same way.

The only thought going through our mind when a "nice" guy comes by is that he's probably just an asshole in disguise like the rest of them. But i guess thats a good thing. We put up a wall and we arent letting it down for any guy.

We are more prepared for if it happens again, and the next time it happens we wont crumble like a cookie. We'll be great and superior. If youre gonna fck with us, we'll fuck with you right back, up the ass.

Take that you son of a bitch.
______________________________

To Vivian. :>

AHAha! I saw the pictures you posted.
Thanks for posting up the ones when i was in my worst...
ahaha. Its okay though :x

Im just a little Duckling (:

Winter Ball 09

My sister just walked in with my Hollister jacket.
OH SO THATS WHERE IT WENT! Shouldve known...shouldve known.
If somethings missing in my closet, chances are that they are now sitting in her closet.

>;[ ive been hella looking for that jacket!

Fun Facts:
I watched the Tyra show today, and i learned some interesting things, and picked up a few satistics. Gosh i love tyra. I admire her. (:

95% of women fantasize about sex
72% of women watch porn
25% of women fantasize about having a threesome with another women and their man.

interesting huh...

OMG. So i went to Justine's house for lunch today, and we had cereal. SPECIAL K bluberry. Its like new or something! BUT IT WAS SO GOOD. i need to go to safeway...and get myself a box NOW. Ahhhh. o:

This morning Lisa texted me and told me that there was apparently another power outage at the ROP center so there might not be class again...but of course that news was too good to be true and we had to go to class...

and i ended up failing my test. And that period was fcking awkward...i just wanted to to yell at someone for being such a bitch. -____-
Gotta be kidding me!

BUT ON THE BRIGHTSIDE...
I got my Winterball pictures today :>

Want a copy? cause i have 32 of them to give out. LOL. plenty plenty.
*look at his smile... :c
its okay though Henry. I forgive you.

Martin Luther King Jr

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL....
omfg...did that really happen? WOW NO COMMENT!
ROFLCOPTER! i dont even know what to do, cause for some reason this is just too funny.

but at the same time its still a "wtf" kind of thing.

whaaaat theeee fuuuuck.

My internet went down earlier and i was pretty devastated. Shows how much of a life i have.
So since i had nothing to do, i went and watched The Ugly Truth on my laptop! I got the DVD yesterday after working with my sister. (:

It was a good movie. Aha. Cute too. I liked it.

Nothing was done today. Today was boring
Nothing to blog about today, since today was boring. I had thoughts on my mind when my internet was gone but then now theyre all lost! That sucks for me.

Flowers! Today i found out that my middle name means "cherry blossom" & "rose"
So i have a flowery middle name. Cool. That makes me like my middle name more now :D

Prepare yourself for a gloomy ass week. Today was HELLA stormy. The windy was blowing like no other...and it was pouring like shit.

I really dont want to step out of my house tomorrow morning, if the morning is about to be anything like it was today. And omg just my luck, i better not have to walk around in the wet cold morning tomorrow during first period.

fml because i bet i have to. Shit.

& i dont even know where my umbrella is!

goodluck to me, in the shitty weather. :c


Wanna get faded. Lets have some fun, this beat is sick.

With them tulips.
of course...

btw. Happy MLK day! (:

Siblings

Missed church this morning. Because i was too lazy to get out of bed at 6am. Told my mom i would go later, but didnt because i had to go to sanjose to help my sister out with a wedding (shes a wedding planner)

Spent the whole day in Sanjo, working and helping her out. Shit was i beeaaat. Just got back right now. And im hella at peace. Im not as tired right now. I just hella wanted to get home real badly.

Not much to say about the day. Went out to dinner with my siblings. That was pretty nice...things between my brother and me are getting a little bit better. Cause it seems like we are kind of getting along?? But im not really sure...we will see how things turn out. But like being able to joke around with him was nice. Really made me feel warm. I never thought a moment like that would last for that long. & and it just makes me hella love my brother. Cause he wasnt being a dick. Not that he always is, cause lately it seems like he has been more caring.

I drank with them too! Well not really. LOL cause it was only wine coolers...but hey, thats a step.
5% alcohol. Rofls. Dont think they would ever let me touch anything harder than that. But hey, thats their job. To watch out for me and shit. Yeeeeahhh.

At dinner i got a fortune cookie! I love these things. I remember when i was little, i thought they were gross, but hey they arent that bad!

You will soon meet the person you admire.

o0o0o0o0o. I wonder who that would be! HAHA. i was hella cheerful for a bit. Hmmm...interesting. Little slip of paper just made me smile. Haa. Just waiting now. (:

& my luck numbers are: 10, 18, 27, 41, 45, and 50

Shit. Sleeping late is hella bad for me. Dark circles are not attractive! >:[
hmph. Thats okay, no one to impress anyways. Right? Hell yeah i'm right!
& on top of that...i got my first blemish...on my cheek. I neveerrr had one on my cheek before! it would always be on my forehead...well this is kind of horrible...actually i think i have two.

looks like bug bites. :x
yucky.

i wanted to climb mission peak! but...that aint happening...since im tiiredd, and no one is willing to go with me. boooo.

next time i have a day off from school, im gonna go! yay! lets hope so atleast. o:

nothing planned for tomorrow. but so far, this weekend has been pretty interesting.
dont mind just chillin at home tomorrow...but if anyoness down to kickit with me...hit me up! :D
heheh.

IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT SO MANY THINGSS! o:
siiighh. i feel hyper right now.

my rooms a mess...i guess thats something i can do tomorrow, as well as laundry.

Hi Jordan.
You still need to sing me my song!

damn what a trip

i went on a trip today.
today was different. Very very different. Different from any other days, yakno?
Its saturday...well it was saturday. now its sunday.
well anyways. i woke up this morning around 9am and i hit up lisa and tell her to get ready...cause we were bouta go to the mall. Great mall to be exact. at nine in da morning. Well...my brother took us there cause he was busy and couldnt take us to valley fair.

But there wasnt anything we needed at greatmall...so we decided that maybe we will just take the bus over to valleyfair. We rode on the lightrail and got off at alum rock then took the BUS from there all the way down to valley fair. It was a longass motherfckin ride. DAMN. Well there are hella interesting people on the bus. Haha. There was this little old vietnamese lady, and she was hella cute! Haha. She was sitting on the bus happy as hell, talking to her son. I was able to understand most of what she was saying, and all im wondering is "damn where the hell is this little lady going! traveling hella far from home all by herself"

Got to the mall and shopped hella much. Just hella walking! not much to say bout the mall cept...we just walked hella. was fckin stuck there for days cause neither lisa or i can drive! So...had to wait till 7 for my mom to swoooop.

Oh yeah, didnt mention that Lisa and i had a wonderful dinner together at the pretty damn expensive italian restaurant. But we shared a plate so together, lisa and i paid 22 dollars to have delicious noodles! YUM. Now that is something different, because we always try and save money by eating hella fast food value menu food. But that was hella worth it. (:

Got home, showered...got ready got dressed.
Matt swooooped.
got lost, and couldnt find where joy's party was. But we got there. FIRST ONES THERE.
damn...thats pretty crazy. HAh. The jello shots were good, ive never tried those before.

party was hella fucking craccin, no fcking lie. Hella sucks that five-oh came through and fucking busted out asses and made everyone leave! they didnt penalize us or anything though, just made us leave. Bleh.

Well with nothing to do, we just went over to the empty pcTap and posted it there for a bit. SHIT WAS IT COLD! Well i really had to pee...but everything was closed.

i couldnt stand it any longer...and i pee squatted for the first time ever!
& i didnt even pee on myself. Hehe.
IM NOW ASIAN! YEEE.

well went home earlier than i couldve came home cause there wasnt anything to do. and i mean im totally okay with that cause its hella cold, and i wasnt tryna just like stay out in the cold when i could be at home with my bedheater. Ya feel me? Hell yeah.

damn well now im just sitting on my bed typing out this post. i hope my moms not mad.
I just got home. :x second time ever staying out past 12.

Dont bitch at me mother! im getting older...let me fly.

Fucking you know what i hate though? Boys who are hella shady! Guys who arent fucking true to their girl. Letme tell you, she hella deserves BETTER than you if youre bouta go off and fool with other girls. You already got a girl, so stick to her. God daaamnit.

Stupid boys -_-

well anyways. I love everyone still. No hate at all, whatsoever!

hearts for everyone ! ♥

fck my mom just came in and i closed my lappy and layed down..dont think she fell for it, but she left. eeeek

:3

Everything seems to be going by so quickly now. Its pretty damn crazy.
This year is about to be over hella soon. Because time is flying fast. A bit over whelming. But its amazing. I love it. I'm enjoying myself hella much. It seems like...a huge load has been taken off of my shoulders and i feel so light. So joyous.

I think this year is really going to be a good year. There is so much to look forward to.
Someone told me that life isnt fun if you dont have anything to be excited for. Something like that. And im excited for so much! So...everything seems pretty wonderful. Sitting at home is even wonderful. Well not always, cause i would like to go out.

What i have been wanting and hoping for, happened. But now its like damn...i wish it wasnt like this ._.

I remember before, i would keep telling myself how i wish my parents would start working so i can be home alone. Now that i think about it...even if im home that makes no difference because im still home. Just not more lonely! People can always come over now though. But not like anyone would like to. My house is boring.

& my mom seems to be less strict than usual, cause i lightweight go out more than usual. (kinda...its still not even a lot. haha) but then now its not like i can go out cause i have to stay home and watch Lena. I can only leave her at home if i had like a legit reason to go out, like homework! But i mean thats cool, im not tryna go out everyday anyways. Haha

Goodass motherfckin day today.
ROP was canceled today because there was a power outage, so there wasnt class today.
GOOD THING TOO! Cause i was not prepared for that test. But i still have to take it on Tuesday. Haha. Thats okay though. :>

Since we didn't have ROP we tried to go out to lunch with mission heads, gayasss niggass wouldnt tell us where they were going...so Justine Lisa and I decided to post it somewhere with Brandon and Patrick. That was kinda interesting. Haa. Never spent time with them outside of school before. Nice fellas though. We didnt really have anything to do so we went back to school with everyone else. I hella thought we could have picked up winterball pictures today, but we are getting them on Tuesday. YEE! Hella anxious to see those. Hopefully they turned out good!

Went to Mr. Evans class to visit. Hehe. I know he loves us <3> HEHE. IT WAS SOOO PRETTTY! AHH. I loved it. & since Chavy's house was next to the hill, i called him to tell him to go outside so i can see him from his backyard. HAHA. it took me awhile to figure out which house belonged to his. But i found it, cause he flickered his lights. I love that boooy. I miss him too ): He doesnt even talk to me anymore! Sigh.

We stayed up there for a while and then just dipped out and i went home with Lena...

Had more Pho. Now im just cheeelin. Goodass day though. Doesnt sound like much, but i hella enjoyed every moment of it.

Now i cant wait for tomorrow! Yee. Lets hope all goes well tomorrow.

Like my ring? its a gold elephant.
:3

grr, im a bear

Todays is a Fursday. A Thursday that hella felt like a Friday.
My Thursdays always feel like Friday. Haha. Dont know why.

Nothing planned tomorrow for my Friday though. Thats okay. As long as i get to go out Saturday. Yee! :) I BETTER BE ABLE TO GO. Or ill be so sad :c

Im so so so so sick of Office T.A ing. gorjwmsd,frfeh. Hella aggravating.

Didn't go to ROP today, and hella drama is going on right now also. Girls are such bitches, always tryna start shit. Hella gay. Its not hella drama. Its more like the stupidest shit ive ever encountered. stupidest shit. Sigh you dont even knowww.

Instead of ROP I went to Great Mall in search for Floral Lacey Stockings. No luck there. So disappointed. :c I wonder if i can head over to Urban to get them. I sure hope so atleast!

Test in Medical Assisting tomorrow. & i wasnt in class today to pick up the study guide or bring home packets to study. So FML i am kinda screwed there. I totally forgot that we had a test too. Shit. Well...i hope i have time to cram during the first hour of ROP tomorrow ._.
& i hope tensions between the girls decrease. Can't stand being around people with bad vibes. Ugh. It just brings my mood down.

Goshhh. Why are girls such bitches. Thats pretty damn gay.
& then guys are assholes. Well ain't that just greeeaat.

Can't live with them, can't live without them. True thatt thooee.

Justine made me a beanie and mitten gloves!

Theyre so cuteee. & the have ears!
HAHA AND THEYRE MAROOON.

maroon is pretty. like second best color after red.

v.trang

hi. im awfully tired. Why don't i just go to bed then.

went to Vivian's house today just to kickit. That was nice. That wass funn.
I like spending time with her (:

i'm feeling lazy...

No pho today. I forgot to turn on the stove when i got home. I didnt even go home actually. I just ran into the house grabbed Vivian's shirt and left. So i dissapointed the whole family and no one got to have pho for dinner tongiht. And i know how badly everyone must have wanted to have some.

Fish & Rice for dinner ftw. Bleh.
BUT I GUESS. haha! im satisfied actually. (:


MmmMmm my hair is so soft <3

PERMIT TEST TOMORROW?!
well atleast i hope so. But at the same time im not sure because im not exactly ready...i need to study for that. Shoot! but then i dont know. It depends on my mom too. SO fingers crosssedd that i do good! but its implausible that im even going to go since i havent studied, or reminded my mom to make sure she can take me.

i had a paragraph for that....and it got deleted to i had to rewrite it. & we all know things are better the first time around than the second. because its not really ever the same :c

implausible: (adj.) difficult to believe; not likely or credible

Not even sure if i used it in the sentence correctly. Rofls.

Im gonna start and try to use vocab words in my post so i can learn them better.
So far i have used about 3. :> im a smart cookie

because i was bored....

& im out of things to say...
so i hope you enjoy this picture :3

p.s someones special day tomorrow!

just onerous

This is ridiculous. This is unbearable. This is a pain in the ass. This is a pain to my brain and my eyes. This is onerous. I just do not understand. I have before said that i hate history. And i still hate history. And i will always hate history.

Here i am sitting in my room in front of my laptop. Struggling to get some words onto Microsoft Word Processor. Think, think, thinking but there is no "brainblast"

I don't even understand this assignment.
An article on The Scopes Monkey Trial..."Space is money", Mr. Evans said. So dont waste a single space on your paper! FILL IT UP. I cant fill it up...all i have is one sentence, and im not going anywhere at all.

Super tired at the moment. I really just want to crawl into my heated bed and fall asleep.
Really want to just drop this assignment and say "fuckit" But i really cant afford not to do this. I can't afford to slack off in history anymore! I need to raise that grade...so i have to do this.

Trying to think of anyway possible to get my mind to start working. I have my mind switched off, and i can't seem to turrn it on again. Its just dead.

How do i start this out. How do i continue it...how do i end it.
UGH! All i know is some guy named John T. Scopes, a science professor taught the study of evolution to his students and got in trouble for it. & then what?

fuck im so stuck

for some reason i feel like crying. I so do not want to do this.

Drank milk. Drank water. Talked to my mom. Burned paper. Listened to Techno. Listened to Aerosmith. Listened to everything else. Anything upbeat. Anything smooth and mellow. Talked to Lena. Ate noodles. Made food. Stared at the screen. Talked to people.

IM TRYING TO THINK HERE BUT ITS NOT WORKING. IM GOING CRAZY.
AHHH. I hate assignments that i do not understand. I think that my teacher really should have taught us a little bit more about this topic and kind of guide us into doing this article. I think he should have been a whole lot more specific on what he wanted done. Because really?...
How the hell do i describe the social climate of the trial...i was not paying attention to the people in the court that closely!

Onerous: (adj.) difficult to bear, carry, or do; troublesome; burdensome

This is just onerous. I can't stand it. Im about to explode. I dont think im fit for school. Not fit to do this much. Or shit. Thats all bad. I just have to believe in myself. Tell myself that i can do it. Because its not impossible, not impossible because i'mpossible.

I came to blog, to try and clear my mind...in hopes that it would help my thoughts flow more evenly. FINGERS CROSSED! Here i go o_o

Btw. I had my first real meal today, in a long time. Because my mom was home to cook. :>
I also learned how to make Pho. I am now a true vietnamese girl! YEE.
Guess whats for dinner tonight everyone? (:

BAMBI?!?!

I NEED TO FIND THIS DVD!
SO I CAN SHOW MY BABIES WHEN I HAVE THEM!
YOU CAN NOT LIVE LIFE WITHOUT WATCHING THIS.
AHHH.

This is now on my Birthday Wishlist.
& my Christmas wishlist. For years and years till i finally get my hands on it.

Mother is too busy.

I HAD DINNER TODAY!
Rofls...yeah might sound odd that im announcing that. Its only cause i haven't eaten dinner in a while. The dinner i had tonight wasn't even like a legit dinner. I just had Ramen. :x
So the next time i have a legit dinner, ill be sure to announce that also. (:

My mom started to work full time again. Or something like that. Because before she would just be at home or running errands. But she's been pretty busy. So has my brother and my dad. I've been home alone more often now. Well with Lena...so no one is really home to watch her, meaning i cant even go out that often cause i have to be home with her. Thats lame. All struggling to make money.

Hopefully she can take me down to SanJose tomorrow to sign up for my Behind the Wheel. Yay! Just hopefully. Cause she said she's free tomorrow? & then she's going to try and teach me how to make pho...Haha.

Thinking about taking AutoShop next year with Lisa :>
Oooohhh. Sounds fun. HEHE

Tell me why...guys have longer eyelashes than girls. ITS SUPPOSE TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND! Makes me angry to see guys with such nice full loooong lashes...and mine are just pathetic compared to. :c no fairrr

My english teacher wants me to write a quickwrite about the american dream and about where i am going to be in the distant future...I have no fcking idea what i am trying to do with my life. Damnit. I guess its time to sit down and really think about this. For the sake of myself, and my grade...

weather check!

Damn. Its Raining...-___-

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

in sweats and a tshirt. With my laptop sitting on my bed.
nice way to just relax on my Sunday (:

if i was in a relationship with someone i hella fcking loved & it just ended...the feelings i would have had afterward would have been unbearable. with all the thoughts and memories of the person playing in my mind everyday. thinking about it would have made me sad. But if i had the opportunity to erase all trace of that person from my mind...i wouldnt do it. its the experiences of life to have to go through something like that. to feel something like that. to be lost and stuck like that. having the person erased from my mind and like having a part of me erased from...well, me.

its like...i will wake up like the whole thing was a dream. and wont be remembering a single thing. well basically, thats how it is. Right? yeah, yeah.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot. The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned.
Alexander Pope

Watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today.
& it was a really good movie! I hella liked it. It was pretty deng interesting.
It kind of sad to watch the guy fighting to keep the memories of his ex girlfriend. Hella determined to keep them. Poor thing. :c

Right now, im hella craving ice cream. Caramel icecream...and ice cream sanwhiches!!
My mouth is watering. Must go get some asap! o:

I was basically in bed all day today. Shit. What a waste of my day. & yet i said it was a great way to spend my Sunday. Well i guess...yet i hella just wasted my day. I had nothing to do though! I actually didn't want to go out today either. Hella was not in the mood to do so. And there is never anything to do at home. I didn't have any homework either. >< So i kind of just fell asleep in bed and woke up half an hour ago. Ahhh. Horrible.



This was kind of sad. :c
I hope no one i know will ever have this! Knock on wood.

oh shit.

Junior year is almost over! Well i mean...not really. About 5 more months. But if you think about how fast each month is going by, then yeah JUNIOR YEAR IS ALMOST OVER!

So then that means im almost a Senior ._.
WHICH MEANS...i need to fucking finish my damn community service hours! Cause as of now...i have 0/40 hours done. Well i did 6 hours, but i never picked those hours up. FML.
What do i do.

Must become more active with the clubs and shit. :l Or something! or i will be screwed.
Unless im trying to go to science camp? oh yeah, that sounds fun. Okay!

I just watched the nastiest thing on youtube.
Well not really nasty but HOLY FUCK WHO WOULD DO THAT?!
Some girl...like cut her tounge. It was hella nasty. Like split it in the middle. Omfg.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdp4hz-LwoI&feature=channel

& this guy fucking cut his skin! WTF! ghwkmdfereklbnmr,d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge11PVnp3wY

WELL I GUESS IF YOUR NUTS...and thats your kind of thing ._.
but shit. Thats crazy! Ah...i feel so sick right now.

What an amazing day...Full of surprises...
My brother is out in the kitchen. Guess what he's doing.
making homemade beer ROFLS thats rediculous this whole time i thought he was making food. My brother would be doing something like that. Haha.



& it smelled kind of like some sort of soup. i wonder how this would turn out to taste like. Too bad i will never find out! haha.

did you feel the earth move

I miss having someone to call babe.

Hi Babe. I miss you. :c

Awe! Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Its another boring Friday night i am experiencing right now.
Its a Friday night and im feeling awfully lonely. A bit in a...loving mood as well. Kind of just want to be with someone, in someones arms. ._. Erm...

How about you and i go rent a movie and cuddle while watching it :>
LIKE Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Hehe. I heard thats a cuteass movie. I haven't watched it yet. Maybe i will! Weee.

Oh yeah, so its Friday.
All day today, i knew it was Friday, but i felt like i was fooling myself. It did not feel like a Friday at all! I had to check the date just to make sure. And ask just to make sure.
It was just kind of implausible (english vocab word!)

I need to sleep earlier. The bags under my eyes are not so attractive. :x
Rofls. But its okay. Aint trippin! But i mean...yeah, i want them to be gone.
Its like no matter how early i would try to sleep. It just doesnt help. I wonder how they even form o: Thats interesting.

I wish i dressed hella cute! Well...i wish i had money to be able to afford clothes to be able to dress hella cute. So then...i should go get a job. Damnit! I need a job. Anyone know anywhere that is hiring? I'm to lazy to go around and look...and ask for job aps. But i guess i gotta do what i gotta do right? Yupp.

I need to be doing something, to prevent myself from sitting here at my laptop all day. Prevent myself from thinking about things i shouldnt be thinking about. Yaknooo? Cause just some days, ill just be sitting here bored to death and my mind goes on a trip. Not even a good one sometimes either.

Money is so hard to get now a days. Its so sad to see what my family is going through to try and get money. Sigh. Makes me hella sad sometimes. Its sad times now. Sad times that i never thought i would have to go through. I dont even want to ask my mom for anything much anymore. Especially since im about to have her pay hella just to get me to start driving. Ahh. Horrible!

There was an earthquake today, but i didnt even feel it. Weird. It was a 4.8 i think. I THINK? i forgot. or maybe it was a 4.2? I dont even remember...but Sophia told me. Thats so scary. 3 baby earthquakes in a row! I didn't feel the one on Wednesday either. & i barely even felt the one we had yesterday. Does this mean the Giant earthquake at haward fault is going to happen soon? knock on wood! I sure hope not. Fuck...that would be so damn horrible.

Sophia was telling me today how at her church they were teaching them about like the disasters that were happening in the war. Like the twin towers collapsing was the foreshadowing of the economy going down. Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans because apparently there were groups of people there practicing witch craft, so it had to be stopped...and then the Haward Fault earth quake that is possibly going to be a bigass earthquake is going to struck because of all the gays in San Fransisco. O_O

LIKE WTF IS THE CHURCH TEACHING THEM!? omg i thought that was just so ridiculously horrible. She said something like god was punishing us. BUT REALLY? HOLY FUCK!
Not even something to think about. Oh gosh. God bless me. -____-
Dont even think that way, seriously. ROFLS thats horrible....so fcking horrible.

She said it was ridiculous too >< I think its just the theory of her church. But damn.

Im kind of scared for that earthquake to come ._. I know its going to be hella bad, cause im right above the hayward fault, but i dont want to think of it that way. Hopefully...its not TOO bad where i loose everything...o_o

My hand HELLA hurts! It got cramped up the other day while i was writing. And now it kinda just hurts every now and then. Its weird.

Hey babe, lets go catch a movie

IM REALLY BORED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW.
O_O GOING WILD...

i think i needa draaaank. but no tengo.

Love Like

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love,or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love,or hating how jealous you are, but loving how much you want me all to your self type love…

Gosh i Love this.

This is not an annotation.

this is not an important/critical note, that may concern you the reader.

I am munching on pringles. CHEDDAR CHEESE!
Its really hard to stop eating them...but i dont want to eat it anymore. I just keep grabbing for more though. Damn msg. Is that what its called? i have no idea.

OMFG! I am so so so so so sick of Office TAing.
I am SO sick of walking around in the cold. im sick of walking.
i just want to sit there...and relax in the not so warm office. Yeah, the office is not even that warm...

UGH I HATE FIRST PERIOD!

I think my favorite class would be english. I love Mrs. Wong. Hehe.

Keeping it short tonight, i guess. No shit to be talking about. :>

Happy Birthday to my Sister though! She's now 28! o:
Damn...old ass nigga. We are like...eleven years apart? Something like that. Since im turning 17 this year...i dont know. yall can do the math.



Kat Badar and Jasmine have such powerful voices.
& Cathy and Jenny have hella angelic voices.
So pretty! Jealousss. Hell yeah.

Shared Knowledge

I think i love to learn about the development of women and how they are today. Its pretty damn interesting. Well lightweight! I mean who knew that the roles of women metamorphasized drastically all in one time period.

the 1920s baby!
whooo-hoo!

in the 1920s, women became more independence and started to begin to express themselves more. because they wanted to be thought of in some other way than just the housewife i guess.

its when they started to dress more flashy and showing more of the body. (;
hehe. so i guess if all these women never like started dressing a bit "slutty", girls these days would be all covered up. How sad for the guys i guess...and how uncomfortable...kind of...for the girls! But it ain't a slutty thing now. Now its just normal. Rofls.

& its when women started to wear makeup! To make themselves look pulchritudinous,physically beautiful, blush, lipstick...eyeshadow. Hehe.

Most booming makeup was the Max Factor! This guy created all the crazy makeup shit for women. As well as Coco Chanel. Yeee.

Women started to have sex before marriage and experimented around with other men.
Nice...

Okay. Thats all i wanted to share.
My history lesson. & english lesson. I used 2 vocabulary words. HEHE!
okay well...i actually only used one, and then i used a big word that i just learned. (:

24 hours a day; 7 days a week.

Recap:
im so effin tired right now. Kind of just wanting to ptfo on my bed and sleep!
School was hella tiring today. I was bouta die by the time we had ROP.
Lunch was fun! Finally got to have lunch with the school kids. Goood Stuff. Really wish Justine Lisa and I could do that more often. But we never know where the school kids are heading during lunch.

Came home, and then "cleaned" well kinda. I mean my room is already clean! i just have to put clothes away. i folding stuff but left it on my bed, cause i passed out. Woke up around 7:00pm. Now im siting here eating Honey Bunches of Oats. Good Shit Man!


Its really hard to understand what couples are like. How each person thinks, and how they can really stick with that person. No way to figure out why they do what they do, and no stopping them. And every relationship is different! What is a real, normal, healthy relationship really like anyways?...I'm not even sure anymore.

Guys treating their girls like Princesses?
Like in the movies. The guy is her prince charming. She is his everything, and he really cherishes her. The "honey, ill do anything for you" boyfriend pretty much. Something like that! Spoils you with love, spoils you with gifts. Buying you what you want, making you smile cause you didn't even ask but he wanted to see you smile, so he got it for you anyway. Treating you out. Opening doors. Basically the complete gentlemen.

But it doesnt really have to be hella like that. Cause most girls can easily just say that their boyfriend treats them like a princess, because they feel like that when they're with their man. Right? If not...maybe there is something wrong, or i dont know.

Givin' you all the finer things in life.
Aw! Sometimes i get pretty damn jealous :x

He better be treating her hella well, making her glow like the damn sun.
So there are no complaints of how effin' amazing her boyfriend is.

& it could be the other way also! Or both ways. Like why doesnt the girl treat the girl, and buy their man cute ass shit? Well i guess thats totally up to the girl and her way of thinking...as well as the cash monney. We would all love to cherish you the way you are/should be cherishing us with stuff! Cause most guys, in their mind...its like, i dont need you to give me anything...you dont have to buy me a bunch of things. Because as long as you give me your love, i'll be smiling 24/7.

Trust me. Cause we feel bad when we can't give something back. Something other than our love.

Damn girlfriends are expensive.
Really though...if i had a job & the money and was able to drive. I would LOVE to buy my boyfriend (if i had one) cuteass shit.

Like a gshock watch. That shits hella money. But i would, if i had a job. Rofls.
CAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BE THE CUTEST.
Hehehee. Too bad i have none of those.
No job, no money, no car(no license), and no boyfriend.


Shouldn't be so whipped for each other though. Specially at this age. I mean its cute though! But take it easy a little right?

Let each other breathe once in a while...go live your own life, while your man or lady is living theirs. Spend time with your friends. Dont leave em behind...
Its rediculous how that is sometimes. Like now that you have a significant other, your whole world revolves around that one person. You forget about your friends, and theyre left wondering when you will come and give em time to kick it.

Youre with that person all the time, everyday. 24 hours a day; 7 days a week. And it just doesnt get old! You guys dont get tired of each other. Both of you are so in sync with each other, you forget about the rest of the world.

Not even a call, a text or anything from you.
Totally whipped. But its okay. Cause its cute soemtimes.

I dont know! Sometimes we need to open our eyes when we have someone. And realize that the both of us need to seriously get a life. A life a way from each other. Spend time apart. That way when you guys finally come together, you'll have things to share. And the moment will be special.

idk...cause i miss my friend. :l
cause she is gone 24/7. cause her and her boyfriend are madly in love.

I dont know what love is anymore...i really dont. Is it really true?

"youre never too young to fall in love"

hmmm yeahhh. Love. Fall into it.

If i dug a hole, ill name it love. & then i'll ask you to fall in love with me
-from some guy on tumblr. I THINK I SAID IT WRONG...cause it was cuter coming from him .ROFLS....

Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah.
I hate babbling. I never really know what im talking about & i can just go on and on...
bout the stupidest shit.

Teenage love, its a beautiful thing huh.

Fun Fact: Chipotle is the healthiest fast food restaurant around.

Happy Sunday

It Sunday everyone! Hope you all went to church!
That is if you have that belief...

Just finished writing to my sister. First time ever talking to her about something that really bothered me. Well i didnt really tell her what bothered me...cause i dont even know why im bothered. That kind of made me feel better. Now im waiting on a response to it...and expecting her to be hella worried & then ill reply back and tell her not to worry...cause shit like that happens a lot.
And she'll tell my mom and my family will soon question me. And ill be put in a mental house.

Sweeet.

I went to church this moring, and i was wide awake. Wide awake but not paying attention. Haha...church went by faster today, compared to usual.

Feeling better now...but i think thats because someone finally talked to me like they cared.

Thanks...better late than never.

shit go away.

So i was laying in bed...just thinkin about things. I had hella thoughts just flowing in my mind, and i felt like i really needed to let the thoughts out. No one to talk to though. No ones ever around.

This seems like a bad way to start the year feeling like this. Its like foreshadowing that nothing good will come my way in the rest of the year. I tried to make this feeling go away but its stronger than i am. Because i dont want to feel like this when really, i have no reason to.

I want to know whats wrong with me. I feel like i have a serious problem. Why am i always so down? Why can't i just make myself happy, and be joyous with life? I dont want to appear as a lunatic. I want to be fixed.

Like i really know that there is nothing wrong...and i have no reason to be feeling down.
But i am feeling down and im pointing fingers, for reasons of why i feel this way...but i dont want to point fingers, because i already have before but its not like anything changed. Tried to ignore this reason but it keeps coming back. I keep telling myself though that its no big deal and im being a fckin bitch about it. Eh. Somethings wrong with my brain.

Define Friend: _________________________

im not sure if i know the meaning to this. seems like i do, but seems like everyone else had this all mixed up. so what is it really?

Honestly now, i think im a good person...and im a good friend. Some im a better friend to than others. Sorry bout that, but i am overall. Right? Sigh atleast thats what im hoping.

Dont know where to turn.
Everyones just fucking with me. Pretty much through with it.

I cant take it anymore! I want this feeling to be gone. I hate it with a passion.

Seems like no matter what my choices are, no matter how much boundries i set, how hard i try, and why i do...i will always get screwed over. I get no respect. Then i end up turning around and facing this huge hit that makes me fckin realize that...it was dumb as fuck.

Im so done with it. Yeah...

okay, so im dumb and my actions are dumb.
*think before your actions
- obviously, i dont do this so often.

and right night i just want to get fucked up.
something like this shouldnt even be crossin my mind.

Well fml. cause idgaf.

& itll only take one thing...to make me smile...SIGH :c

btw. im sleeping with my dogs tonight. :>

CHOWDERS A MOTHER?!

im a bit speechless atm, and im not really sure how to start this out...
i am sitting at home alone, all by myself. the house is hella peaceful too.

i woke up around 1pm or something and kinda just layed in bed till 3 and took a shower. i'm hella bored, and i have been ever since i opened up my eyes. I dont know what i want to do...wait yes i do, i want to go out and enjoy the last weekend of break somehow.

Its January 2nd. My dog had babies. When? I have no fucking idea.
Probably last night...or this morningh, im not even sure.

Well anyways...im sitting here and my brother calls & this is how it went :

B: Where are you?
K: At home...why?
B: Well go into the garage...
K: (thinking he's bouta make me check sump for him) okay...
B: ...and check on Chowder and her babies
K: wait...WHAT?! HER...BABIES?! WHAT? SHE HAD BABIES?
B: yes. Woww. didnt even know
K: WHAATT? WHAT?
B: yeah! go check on them
K: OMG OKAY OKAY

Ill try and take a picture of her little white pups later. YUP! they're white. & i think she only had two...cause thats all i saw. so i HOPE she only had two...otherwise the others are somewhere missing...

-_______-

Im not really sure whats going through my mind right now.

Fcken A though, my back hella aches and hella just not feelin it. Kinda feeling a bit down.
But like i really dont even know why. Ugh. I just need someone to make me smile right now.

I have a slight, tiny feeling that im bouta get screwed over. And i aint down for that.
Can yall just be real with me, i can't have all this shit in my life.

Right now, im kind of just sick with boys. Sick of them. They make me sick.
I hate them...-_____________-
I mean not really! Not gonna try, just gonna go with the flow, you know?

Yeaahhh....

Shit, i dont even know really. Haha.

Everythings a bunch of Bullshit, i dont even know whats real anymore. Can't tell what i can believe...i guess i just gotta trust my instincts or some shit now.

Can only depend on myself for my own happiness.

Feeling right now : -____-

but on a brighter note, i just finished making a bracelet! took me HELLA days...its like 2 pinkies wide ( two of my pinkies ) i wanted it to be thicker like HELLA THICK but then i wasnt sure how much string i needed...and i thought the amount of string i had would have satisfied me but it didnt. Boo. its okay. Its still cute. i love the combination of colors i used

9:00pm - 2:00pm est.

its maroon and ivory. So basically like a darker version of red and off white. i like it! :D

Now all i need is some help putting this thing on. Rofls. Finishing this bracelet made me happy. (:
p.s i just realized that this photo is "actual size" of my bracelet. rofls...