Breakups

Is it break up season right now or something? Wthell man, it's actually pretty depressing to even hear about breakups going on left and right. And it happens to the couples that you figured would last for a while. I don't know, pretty mind blowing...

Makes me realize how much i really do care for my boyfriend, but at the same time it makes me think a little about things. Just same thing as usual, things probably wont last.

Just remember a couple things: be appreciative, be truthful, be loving, be caring.

Don't think of the relationship as a waste of time. Don't think that all those feelings that were being invested into that one person was a waste, or the money spent was just for nothing. When you're in a relationship, that is what you have to put in. Money, time, feelings. You can't all of a sudden think that, "wow, and i spent all that money on them..." That's the wrong way of thinking of it all.

They just then become part of a story in your life. If they were good to you, you at least have the good memories. You can at least go on and say that they were a good person, and that it was great while it lasted.

Wiz

It doesn't last

I guess the thing with relationships is that generally it's just a phase. No matter how much feelings you have invested in them and no matter how much you say you love them or wish that you two can it make it till the end...it's just a phase.

That sucks, doesn't it? Because here you are as happy as can be with this one person. To imagine that this happiness with this person can disappear one day sounds hard to believe.

As great as something is, i guess it's a good idea to remember it may not last in the back of your mind. Don't get so sucked into this whole idea that it might be forever.

Because when it's all over and the happiness and person is taken away it's one of the hardest things to deal with, but you'll have to try your best to get past it.

In the end all you can really say is, damn it's been nice though, and move on.

Santa Barbara

Went on a weekend getaway this weekend with Christina to go visit Tina at UCSB. First road trip ever, and it was quite the experience! We were only there for a day and a half, but we did so much. At least it seemed like it. I really enjoyed myself because it's been so long since i've had any "real" fun with real good company, and it's been so long since i've ever gone and done something for myself. You know what i mean? It was just so nice to get away from home and everyone here...even my boyfriend! Because for once i felt so free, relaxed, and occupied.

Tina took us around SB once we got there. Just strolled around, shopped, and ate at this little burger shack. I was really looking forward to the nightlife of SB though. Since i go to a community college and all, i don't get to experience the "college life". And the partying experience at SB was really something else. Who would have thought the night would have went the way that it did!

Tina told me that generally all the girls go to parties in skirts or whatever that's "scandalous" looking. At least that's how i see it. Not necessarily scandalous, but sexy. It's been so long since i've even dressed up to even look so called "sexy", that it kind of even felt weird to wear what i wore. Haha. And since i don't generally dress myself up anymore, when Christina told me to bring a cute going out outfit, i didn't think about it like that. All i brought with my were jeans! So then i had to barrow Tina's dress and throw one of my blouses over. I guess it looked alright, i didn't feel so "sexy" in it, but whatever right.

Everyone i met were so kind and friendly! Not only because they were drunk, because they were friendly before they got drunk. Apparently this guy, Kevin (below), and Diana (green) are also from the bay and went to my church! Along with Tina and Christina. Probably the drunk goggles, but Diana was the sweetest and funniest girl. Hahaha. I loved her last night! But i'm sure she really is sweet since this morning i saw her and she was indeed just as sweet as she was when she was drunk. And none of these pictures do me justice because my hair was not cooperating with me all day...It was so crazy how everyone was literally just all over the place. People were just walking around in the streets, in the neighborhoods of course, but you never ever see that around here do you? No one gave a shit, and the cars would just drive around people. I felt like it was new years on the strip or something because thats when generally people would just be in the streets cause they can be. Haha. Well everyone was pretty much drunk, every single person that was walking around. And we just walked to one party to the next. I went to 3 parties last night. I've never even party hopped before. I was being a very good girl and handling myself well though. I realized while with all these single ladies that if you have a boyfriend that you're faithful to, it's strange to actually be out like this. Because basically everyone is out to get some! I had to pass the guys that tried hitting me along to my single lady friends. Which had me end up alone and running off to drink some more, but no biggie! I still enjoyed myself whether i was with a guy or not. Because the girls i was with were just the best company.

I had to wake up earlier than i would have hopped for because Christina, Tina, and i had plans for the rest of our stay there. I was super hungover. I woke up around 7 and felt like i was about to yack, but just tried to go back to sleep.

So here i was hungover, and we end up taking a bicycle ride out to go eat. Gosh i was so tired -___-. I haven't even rode a bike in the longest time that i almost fell over when i first started riding, and it didn't really help much that my feet was barely able to touch the floor. This bike is so cute though! It has a little basket for my bag. After i got some food in my system though, it was nice riding the bike since the weather was just so lovely there.

I did so much over this weekend. I'm kind of sad it's over. I definitely can't do this every weekend -- get fucked up and all that. My feet were killing me today after walking all over the place the previous night. I felt like we walked so much...Then i had to drive home from SB to my own house in Union City. Total of a 5 hour drive. I've never driven so much nonstop before. I'm so beat right now, but i had to blog. Haha. I still need to finish up some homework, and then i'm going to ktfo.

This mini vacation/weekend getaway did me good. I really need it. It kind of made me realize a few things, but i don't think i'll go into it. Maybe just that it's really good to do things for yourself to make yourself happy, and to occupy your time and surround yourself with good people with good vibes. I missed home, but it's stressful here. I hope my mom will let me go on another trip someday soon, maybe next time it'll be with my boyfriend and company.

♥

Promises

We all make promises to people in our life. Promises to do something or even promises to love someone. I was reading an article on the promise of love. It's called "The Promise That Love Will Last". I kind of just skimmed through it a bit to see if it would be interesting to even read, and i fell upon this:

“An aspect of promising that is not often brought out, however, is the commitment to another person that is expressed in our making promises. This brings promises to do something and promises to love together apart from intentions. I may utter my intention to go to the library after work but if I decide not to do it we need to imagine quite special circumstances in order to understand what it would be to blame me for not doing what I intended. I can simply change my mind…In the case of promising to love you, where there is no particular action or affection that I take on myself to do or feel, this aspect – my promise is not to primarily about me, my actions and feelings, but given to you – is even more significant for understanding the importance of keeping our promises. Betraying my promise is betraying you.”

I don't know, it kind of caught my attention. I like what the author is trying to say though. I'm going to go read the whole article, or most of it, and maybe i'll come back and input my thoughts on it.

P.s. I'm feeling better today, nothing has changed though. It must have been the weather.

♥

Down

I've been so down in the dumps lately. For these past couple of days, i've had no motivation for anything. All i've been wanting to do was crawl into bed and sleep the day away and sleep some more at night. Maybe i'm just moody...my period is suppose to come next week (Sorry, TMI).

Well i have a test tomorrow for my nutrition class, and you can bet that i did not study for it. I really couldn't get myself to, as much as i tried to i couldn't. My mind wasn't in it and i felt like it was useless because in the state of mind i'm at, i wasn't retaining any information. The plus side is that if i do poorly, i can drop my lowest test grade in this class. Which only means then that i need to step up my game. Thats not such a good mindset to have right now, thinking that theres a way out.

I feel so out of it, like stressed and sad at the same time. Makes me want to throw up. I want to do nothing and cry or something. I don't know whats going on with me. I hate it. I just want to stop moping around, but i can't.

I'm going to Santa Barbara this weekend with Christina and possibly company to visit Tina at UCSB. I'm surprised my mom even agreed on this trip. Part of me doesn't want to go, but the other half does. I really need this trip though. After these past few days of just being "blah", i need to get out of this damn town and away from everything. I need to clear my mind...I need this mini vacation and enjoy myself.

Well, this is just the worse. I hate this feeling. -___-

BE HOPEFUL, Ma Chérie

be hopeful, ma chérie

♥

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is more of a "holiday" meant for the ladies. I think it's just to bring the whole idea of chivalry back. Since now a days people are kinda too busy to really fully 100% express full endearment towards their loved ones, Valentine's Day gives couples the excuse to just set everything aside for the night and spend it together. Where the guy is chivalrous and treats the girl out and gives her flowers. Kind of to bring them back to how things were when they were in their honeymoon stage.

Well to be honest, i was very disappointed by the fact that my boyfriend is anti Valentine's Day. Talk about ironic, when every Valentine's Day i'd sort o

f wish i had someone super special to spend it with and then when the day comes and i have someone special in my life, he doesn't like the "holiday". I wished that he would have cared a little, maybe even just given me a flower he picked from some bush. Just the simplest thought.

Anyways, i guess i'm over it now. Haha. At least he went to watch The Vow with my over the weekend lol. I know i don't need a holiday to know that my deng boyfriend loves me. And well now i'm super content because i respect him for it now i guess. I still love him more than ever, and i know he feels the same way. And that's all that matters. And although he doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day, i still wouldn't trade him for someone who does.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Funny thing is he actually took this picture, and it turned out hella adorable in a sense. :)

♥

Someone Better

I mean, there is always someone out there who might be "better" than the one you have in front of you. You can say, you'll never find out if there is someone better unless you go looking for them. But then you can also just be happy with what you have because they're already hitting the standards of what you have been looking for.

Yah, there is always someone better. Someone better looking, with more money, more chivalrous, more in common, more fun, etc...But what you need to realize is that if you're with someone and you're thinking if there is someone else better out there for you, then you probably aren't truly happy and you should just go out and find that one better person than who you have.

Sure, there may be someone better than him. I've never thought about that. But i don't care. Because everything that makes up him, is just prefect for me. I wouldn't ask for anything else.

♥

School Update

My lovely, lovely buttercup. ♥

Sigh, so i haven't been having much to write about lately. School is just consuming me. My classes this semester are alright. There's a lot of work load, but i guess it's just a matter of me intaking all this information and applying it.

I'm trying hella hard to do well and understand the material for my nutrition class. I get the basics, but i don't feel like i'm grasping all the core details. I have a test next week for nutrition too. :l

My speech class is just me being nervous the whole time. Talking in groups is no big deal until i get up and stand in front of a class to talk. I have my first speech presentation tomorrow. I remember my points and what i need to say, but i just have such a strong feeling that once i get up there i'll forget what i wanted to say and the words wont flow nicely.

My other classes are just whatever.

Anyways, i'm hella tired today for some reason. I didn't even want to do anything at all, and i'm still tired right now. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to text me back. He better have not fallen asleep already. -_____- I guess meanwhile, i'll just go lay down.

I was thinking about reciting my speech one last time, but i'm way too tired. I'll probably do that a couple times before class if anything.

BYE!

♥