I've thought about where this possessive/protective side of me came from, and I realized it shows how insecure I am. Where I'm probably not confident enough to feel like I can keep a guy. I think that this personality trait of mine increased more, after having my current boyfriend leave me already once. If he walked away once, he could just do it again. And it frightens the hell out of me. I think after what we went through with the break up, I just can't help but think. Like what if another girl just ends up catching his attention more one of these days, and he leaves again? Well...if that day ever comes, I guess the best way to face it is to say, "fuck it".
This isn't a way that I like to be. I want to be carefree. Being overly protective of him, always being on guard, and getting jealous because I'm afraid of losing him, could even be what drives him away. Not too sure where to turn. I can't help what I feel. My insecurity takes the best of me sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough in his eyes. Like if the chance arose, and he found someone better, he'd leave me for good.
It's a shitty way to feel. To be afraid of getting hurt again. To be afraid of losing what you love.
So then how would you handle the situation?
Share your thoughts and feelings. :)
Ta taa.
♥
