im always ranting anyways

Remember a post that i posted back in 09?
I think it was one sometime in May...
This one : http://hellokathyy.blogspot.com/2009/05/my-two-cents.html

Its so true, and it always will be true. The one thing about me that i hate. I am a weak person and i can never get my way. Especially when i seriously want it. If i keep urging, it just backfires.

Maybe its because i just don't have very good way with words. Yeah, that must be it. Its because i dont know the correct way to get my way. BUT I WANT TO BE HEARD. I don't wanna be the listener, i want to speak out...and say what i want.

I need to become a better arguer. Haha. I always loose because i always back down.
Aiyaaah.

As of right now, i'm not so excited for prom. BUT i will be. Because...you'll see.
Make the best of it. And prom is fucking annoying, just gotta let that out. Its annoying as shit.

CHARITY FASHION SHOW THIS FRIDAY. Come Watch? (:

pink heels still for sell!

Hot Pink Heels?

c'mon, why not?!
Theyre from Bakers.
Size 6 - Suede


Also has the "non slip" thing on the bottom to prevent you from...well, slipping.
Starting Price at $35.
Any takers?

Btw. Does anyone want to help me sell these?
I never worn them before. Brand neww outta the box. But then the bottom of the shoe is lightweight dirty and i dont know why. Not my doing!

Get at me tho!
AOL - omgamonsterr

kthnx.

---

Okay, Lets talk prom now. Cause thats all that is going on in my mind & how much is going away and how much poorer i shall be.

Dress - 180
- Not so bad actually, but sadly i'm not so in love with it...because its ridiculously plain. Plain, but cute. Not cute enough. And i wasnt aiming for cute. But it will do. I can't return it though either. But i can probably go get another dress from my sister. I had a long talk with her about it earlier. She's willing to get me a nice dress, if i can find one. So i think i'll go search again.

Heels - 30!
- Only thirty dollars from Bakers. Hot Pink. Its whatever. I really didn't know what to do. I was searching for red and i stumbled upon these. I'm not sure how this whole ensemble will turn out to be...ehhh. My dress is white btw. Yeah, White. White dress, hot pink heels? Well it goes only cause my dress is white. But what about the design and everything. Idunno. I'm afraid. I tried is on and i'm still not so in love with all this. I really don't know how i can pull this off at all. Yeah, i was searching for red suede closed toed steve madden heels. But didnt have my size. :/ Eh. Whatever i guess, these are somewhat equivalent.

Makeup - 50
- Yeah so this has been discussed already. I went to vf today and they were having like this event at mac for their new fall line. It was really pretty. Got me super hyped up about getting my makeup done. HEHE. I dont know how my makeup should be either. But i guess i'll just leave that up to the professionals. :)

mani-pedi - 60
yyuup. or idunno if im gonna get a pedicute yet cause my shoes are closed toed. if i dont then only about 32 dollars or so. But i mean, i would love to pamper my feet for once,

So far 320 is spent, or bout be. Hey, not so bad!
I guess, but it still is a lot of money gone and wasted :/

I really wanna go get red heels though...something to think about. But fuck thats more money.
I NEED INPUT. Red heels? or should i just stick with hot pink. Shit why did i get the hot pink heels anyways. & i cant return them. Final sale. Shit. That girl that was working was too nice and helpful, i just couldnt say no. Wow. :(

Okay, now all i need is another date for my bebs. Shit.

I hate prom. Its so annoying. It would be so much easier if guys had balls to ask girls. As well as if things were cheaper.

Oh if there were actually shoes that were my size. -_____-

I shall never be satisfied

Double double

Its like my weekends are just getting more interesting as they come.
Or maybe cause recently, i've actually been having plans and things have been coming up.

Another interesting day. It was different. Hey, i'm getting the hang out this "different" thing.
I kind of like it. Just that its just not the same ole thing all over again, yakno? Cause honestly, i was getting pretty damn tired just posting it somewhere and watching people get high. That is not the business.

Well things seem to be brightening up, aside from my folks being hella down on life...but yeah. Actually, things are just cooling down. Meaning, my classes are finally settled & now i'm stuck taking team sports for the rest of the year. Team Sports along with Biotech. Shiiit. Fuck that shit though. I rather be in choir, honestly. Sing or Run? Though i can't sing, i love listening to the lovely voices of everyone else. But i suppose that Team Sports is actually just a bit better than T.Aing for Mrs. Wong. Cause...now i'm actually a bit more active. Ha.

Weathers hella gay, and we all know that. It was so gorgeous the past few days...and today it was gloooomy again. That sucks. It better be gorgeously sunny March 6th. No matter where i am, or where i'm heading. Cause i know everyone else would want it to be a pretty day also. Speakin of which. There has been nonstop prom talk these past couple of days. And shiit. Its pretty sad man. I don't know what to do. No comment! But i think i may just have a plan...a plan that i do not want to go with...so i don't think i will. :l

Went on a "double date" today. Lisa and i plus two other fellas.
It was nice. I never been taken out like that before. Its always to like...chipotle or something. But hey, i love that place. I don't mind being taken to a fast food place. But just saying, that was nice. Cause it was different. And the fact that two guys actually took us out. That was nice too. But it was sort of like a Kick it, date. Yakno? So basically we paid for our own stuff. All Good. I had a good time. Really did. I like actually having plans and actually doing something...i like it like that.

Aye, i'm a shy guy. :x
& we all know that...
but of course you just need to get to know me, so i'll come out of my shell.

_________________________________

12:27am
WOWWOWOOWOWOOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWWW.
i'm in a daze. i'm speechless. but hey guys, i'm going to prom now. (:

Thankyou, they're gorgeous.
:3

something something

The problem here is me. Yeah, its not the guy. I don't think it ever is, or ever has been the guy. Its always me. I'm just plain boring...yeah thats it. And i have the nerve so call someone else boring? I think its the fact that its kind of hard to talk to me. Because of the type of person i am. What kind of person am i anyways? Lets see well it is pretty hard for me to communicate with peo0ple. I don't really talk to people unless they talk to me. And the whole time i talk to someone, i just want to keep it going you know? But what the hell is there for me to talk about...all these people are hella fun, im just hella boring. My lifes a bore, but i still love it. (:

You've got to love life to have life, and you've got to have life to love life.

So here's the talk for the month: PROM
Aiyaaah. I have everything settled. Not loving any part of it. Just whatever, whatever. I can't do anything about it now, and i just couldnt afford that...bummer. Well all i'm missing is a date. fml cause i have a feeling that isn't going to be happening. & what will i really be missing out on?

I'm a bit sad. And i don't know what to say, or how to react. How should i be feeling about this. Because what is it like when your parents give up on life. Aren't i suppose to look up to them? Do i give up on life too...what is it like to hear your parents say that theyre going soon? Am i not making them happy....i feel like i am a disappointment. Like i did something terribly wrong and im selfish for all of this. Just speechless. I want to make them happy...i'm trying though. In different ways. I want them to hold their head up high and look on the bright side of things. Because its not over, and things can and will get better. I just know it. Because even though it looks like i'm fucking up...i'm going to make something of myself. I will. Just watch. If not, take my life for it. Okay, thats a little much.

Its the economy i'm telling you.
Also the fact that i am a mistake. Because my brother and sister are already grown, outta school and working. I'm just another teenage my parents need to raise. A female teenager too. Shit what a pain. I don't try to ask for much though...and yet i am. I need a job. I'll hop on that asap...when i start to drive.

Btw i drove today with my sister & i almost killed us. :x
Didnt check completely before changing lanes. hey! i'll get better. Practice makes perfect remember? Drove to Sonics, and had it for the firsst time ever. It was alright. I was expecting something more amazing after everyone made it sounds so great.

Need more driving lessons. Who is willing to risk their life?

To all the ladies out there

Here’s to all the girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed.

The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going.

The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute.

Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days.

Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today.

The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder “what if”. This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation.

The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.

This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who some how managed to get him to forget about her, & get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “things were going too fast, he needs time.”

Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.

The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again.

This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”

The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here’s for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here’s for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When ‘your song’ comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made &tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to. One day you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It’s going to hurt like crap, & it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

Credit: Julianne Maries
& take from Lisa's Tumblr

True shit though.
Cause fuck all those guys out there who have the nerve to fuck a girl over.
I feel for them all...

so beastly

This reminds me of me...

tell me why i have no food to eat at home.
oh right, because everyone is busy and my mom barely ever cooks anymore.
& my brother never makes food for anyone else but his girlfriend and himself. Once in a while though, he would give Lena and me a small portion. When he does that...i feel like a homeless person. You know?

If you give a homeless person a small portion of really good food, its like torturing them because theyre going to want more but they know they cant...and thats pretty cruel.

What is my brother making outside...oh he's making pho. But not for us. :c
Maybe if i wait....he'll come give me some. o:

But maybe when everyone leaves the kitchen i'll go look for some food.

I didn't have dinner last night, and because i was so fcked up, i couldnt eat when everyone was eating udon and spaghetti. Now that was torturing. I was so hungry and i looove spaghetti, but tryna get the stuff to go down my throat was hard and it just made me want to yack.

And all i had to eat today was cereal. I think i'm dying! D:

& when i'm hella hungry, i'm just in the worst mood ever.

WORSE MOOD EVER!

well on the brightside, i super cleaned my room. Its very clean, and im happy that its clean.

(:

fcked up

Okay...so...you...are...a...fag. Yeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhh niiggaaa.
LOL YOURE SO GAY. Wtf man?! I can't get over it.

Crazy ass weekend so far. Enjoying it pretty damn muchh.
I have four days of relaxation and doing whatever i want.

Niggaaa! You gotta stop being so gay though! Youre pissing me off, i swear...
Like are you seriously bouta be hella girly on me? Grow some balls and maaan the fuck up.
Damn...otherwise just cry me a motha fccccn river. Freals though. Gosh, i'm kind of just disgusted with how you are towards me.

Two days missed of blogging. Bouta do a whole lotta catching up right now.

Thurday -
DAMN...Thursday was hella a "wtf" day. Cause i was having such a great morning. Was in a goodass mood. Kinda feeling like nothing could bring me down. Went to my new classes - Team sports & choir. Shit was whack though. But i gotta do what i gotta do, yakno? Eventually i'll be nice and fit, AND ill have a nice voice. Its win win.

Well around third period, i got called into the office by the principal. I have never been there before so i was hella like WTF DID I DO?! ._. fcking Alex told me that i must have done something hella bad, cause she wouldn't just call me in for nothing. I get to the office and i see Lisa so im like the fuck is gooin on. Turns out that she heard that Lisa and i were being disrespectful to our bitech teacher. Wtf?! We were hella shoooocked. Cause i swear i didn't even do shit...i walked into the classroom told her i got transferred into her classroom and then sat down...what part of that is disrepectful? Nada..well anyways Ms. Pairee was being such a bitch about it, but she told us to come back in after third period because she is going to talk to our bioteach teacher. Turns out it all a misunderstanding, and we weren't disrepctful at all. -________-;; Hella freaked me out for nuddin.

Sadies in the 80s was craaccin. It was pretty fun. The blacklights were cool, but i didn't even glow. I guess my "white" shirt wasnt really white enough to turn purple. HOW SAD. I wanted to be purple. Yeaah, sadies was goodshit. Best school dance i've ever been to,i would have to say...or maybe. I'm not sure. Sadies is usually fun though. Like last years sadies was the funniest dance also. Idunno! I enjoyed myself. (:

Went to an "afterparty" after sadies. It was more like a kickit than a party. I just rolled in with Patrick, Gene, Robby, Ben, Nicole and Lisa cause Nicole was invited so we all came throuuugh. It was just whatever though. I was so out of it and tired i kind of just sat there and chilled. Came home around 2 and my momma didn't say much. Knocked out and went to bed.

Friday -
Cause we didn't have school, i kept thinking it was a Saturday...
Didn't do much, basically "worked" all day at my mommas shop. 10am-7pm
Came home and i was pretty tired, i just wanted to sleep. Didn't know what was going down for the night though. Lisa came through and swooped with Matty, Patrick and Gene. Came through to Ryans place around nine to find out that Patrick and I weren't even able to be there. The fuck thooough. So we kinda just sat out on his porch for hella days to wait for ryan to come home so we can talk to him and shit. Niggas sat outside with us. True homies tho!Last night was hella fun though. Sure was something. I was pretty much fucked up most of the night it was crazy... Hellaaa shit happened, i dont even remember. But i have leightweight good memories from last night. Ahaha. Goodtimes. I'm hella down to go out again and get a draank...not tonight though, just tryna chill.Was tired as fuck and passed out when i got home. Hella felt like just choppin' it up with someone though, but who was bouta do that with me at that time right? Aha. Gooood shit thoughh!

Wish i took a pictureeee though to post up.......just for memories when i go back onto this. haa.

Saturday -
Don't know what i'm doing today, but i gotta clean my room and possibly the house by tomorrow. Because tomorrow's Vietnamese/Chinese new years and its good to have a clean fresh start. My momma said something like that. Clean out the house to get rid of all the badluck from the past year. Something like that.

Well after cleaning, i think im bouta go to "work" again, but i'm not sure yet cause my momma hasnt caled me to to tell me anything about thaaat. So right now i'm just kinda chillin and being hella lazy. I really wanna sleep for a bit...but that would be a waste of my time.

______________________________________

I lost all respect for all them niggas out there. ALL GONE. Cause nigga you shady shady.
Son of a bitch like no other. Number one shadyass motha fucker. Number one asshole.
______________________________________

Tomorrow is Valentines day! & i'm valentine-less. I wonder what i'm going to end up doing...

:l

I wanna hangout with my babygirl and my niggas out there. Bouta hit them up tomorrow or sump. Bouuutaaa just have a chill night. Or a chill night by myself. Whatever works yakno!

& its also chinese/viet newyears. So idunno whatsup with that yet.

Remeber to get your folks something for valentines day so they know youre thinking of em too. (:

Bittersweet

Not much on my mind. Not much to discuss.
I'll just go on and just write about my day then...like usual!

Bittersweet Wednesday.

Started off with my mom insisting on taking me to my ROP class later in the afternoon. That's fine with me. She can take me if she insists. She just didnt want me to take the bus i guess.It made me kind of sad that i'm making her drop her work and drive down from SanJo just to take me to this stupid class. Poor mom...i love her so much. :l

Because of yesterday with ms. brumbaugh calling me to the office, i was expecting to get called in again today. Was hella anxious all day for what was going to happen to me. ._.

I got called in after third period and had to talk to Mr. Larsen. Oh jeeze, this crap just keeps getting better and better. So apparently i got dropped from ROP because i missed a week of class. So in result of geting dropped from ROP...i had to be put into two different classes to replace the two periods. I also had to take another ROP class but instead of taking it at the ROP center, i had to take an ROP course at school. Well the only ROP course at mission would be Biotech I and the only period they have that is 4th. And then my choices of replacement elective was Choir and Team Sports. FML. How bout none of the above, and just let me go home and sleep. :c

Well...basically my whole schedule is completely different from first semester.

first semester:
1st - Office TA
2nd - Evans History
3rd - Wong English
4th - Sugden Int. Alg.
5/6 - Med. Assisting.

second semester:
1st - Evans History
2nd - Team Sports
3rd - Choir
4th - Biotech
5th - Sugden
6th - Epler English

-_________________________-

I dont even have wong anymore! and i think that what i'm most devastated about. i really liked her. She was an amazing teacher and i learned so much in the time that i had her. But i mean i like epler too, but i rather have wong as my teacher. Just cause of her teaching techniques. and her class was so calm, cool, and collected. I felt at peace in that class.

I feel like its the beginning of a new year...or im a new student just coming in. Not excited for tomorrow. CHOIR?! REALLY?! TEAM SPORTS?! REAAAALLYY?! i was really hoping to be done with the weekly miles and early morning shit in the cold. im gonna be in the cold more. whhyyyyy. and im gonna have to run around......

I guess though. See? Its all just bittersweet.
Because its what i wanted in the start. To drop ROP and come back to mission.
But then not i'm barely ever gonna see Justine anymore. And i have these two gay fuck classes, and i also lost my favorite english teacher yet.

Sadies tomorrow btw! Hope that will be worth while and get my mind straight on shit. Things will turn out alright, yakno? No worries at all. :3

NEW DESKTOP WALLPAPER!

Its my puppy!
Cutsie ain't it?

I think that we're gonna be selling him and his sister though...in a few weeks when theyre old enough. Damn so sad. Theyre super adorable. They learned how to walk already. & theyve been whining a lot lately. Cute little thingggs.

Keep Bleeding

Dear Mother Nature,

When will the rain stop? The weather has actually been ridiculously bi-polar lately. Are you okay over there? It is really throwing my in a loop. I have no idea what to expect. It was perfectly nice yesterday, today was gloomy and now it's raining. I heard it is suppose to rain tomorrow as well? How do you explain this. It has been raining so much lately. Please stop, i want the sun to come out. I miss the warmth.

Sincerely,
Person from the world

I'm getting more sick. Actually, i only have a stuffy/runny nose, my throat bothers me, my head hurts from time to time, and i get super exhausted. I ktfo right when i got home from school today. Lisa was over too...and when i woke up she was gone.

My thoughts are getting lost slowly.......

Well i was takling to my mom, and i was telling her how i haven't been going to ROP to see what she would say. And to my surprise, she is okay with it. Well i just told her how ROP really isn't necessary because i can just go to college to be a nurse and she agreed with me. Counselors are still making me go back but i really don't even want to do that, but eventually (which is soon) i need to go back and talk to Dr. Cliff and see whatsup with that class. Right now i just don't want my counselor to bitch at me. Its really gay. Why can't they just let me take two classes back at school! It would be so much more convenient, and i'll be learning rather than walking around -_-

If i don't go to ROP, i'll get an F. Thats basically like failing two classes because rop takes up two periods. So i'm loosing 2 credits. But then with that, i can go to summer school and make it up. I know my decisions are stupid, but...really i just refuse to go back to class. Blahblahblah. Idgaf really. But yet i do cause its crazy.

So i'm still tripping balls about prom. I haven't gotten asked yet. Are any boys even asking yet?! I haven't seen any girls walk around with flowers! Gosh step up your game, i'm over here waiting. Just kidding. Heres what i'm thinking, if i don't get a date, i'll go anyways...well Lauren told me that. But really?! Its about 90 dollars per person without a date...plus all the expenses to beautify myself just to go to a dance alone? Pass. :x But i guess if i think about it as a once in a life time oppurtunity then that is something to consider. Don't really know about this one though.

I thought of more stuff i'm going to be spending money on for this month:

- I want to re-layer my hair just because. Not for prom, i'm actually afraid that if i re-layer my hair before prom it would look bad. I also need a trim and for my bangs to be professionally cut, that way they would possibly look nice. If anything, i'll probably get this done next week if my mom approves. Mostly i need the trim cause my hair is starting to look really ugly and damaged. I can wait for the re-layering though. I miss my old hair from last year. :l

- Makeup for prom. I'm not good at applying my own makeup for any occasion. I know nothing about makeup and how to do it, and what looks good with what - as well as what looks good on me. So because of that...i'm really considering on going over to MAC and having them do my makeup for me. I'm not sure though how that would turn out. Well either MAC, or my sister's gay makeup artists. They do makeup for her lady clients and its not so bad. But i'm afraid that i wont like what they do for me. I'll ask my sister about that before anything. Hook it up for your sister! I'm just tryna save money here. So if her makeup artists dont work out, i'll go to MAC. Plus, its an excuse to buy some makeup there too.

- Hair. I'm not sure about this one. I want to get my hair done also. I don't know if i would be spending money on this though. But i want to go all out, do something different you know? Its prom! :> Well where the heck or whooo can do my hair for me...thats something i need to look into. I want pretty hair. Hehe.

I haven't practiced driving yet. I already took one session of behind the wheel though. My mom hasnt been around, and she's the only person she wants me to practice driving with. I don't think i'd want to practice driving with my daddy anyways...but she hasn't been around! So i'm lacking practice and i really want to go drive around. Anyone want to teach me how to drive? (:

I hope i feel better soooon. Or i just hope i dont get worse. Haha.

Hoping for an okay day tomorrow. It can't be a great day with the rain. :c

Superbowl XLIV

Happy Sunday 2 Everyone!
Who we all rooting for?
Saints all the waay baby. Ahaha. Actually i really don't know but i'm going along with what the rest of my family are saying. I'm not into football and i know nothing about it. I wouldn't be able to follow football unless someones sitting there telling me what the fuck is going on. But with all the excitement, i doubt that someone would be doing that. I still want to watch it though! I'm stuck at "work" though & business is slooooooooow.

I want to be at home with my brother eating his food and enjoying the super bowl on his t.v. He spent last night making shredded turkey with gravy. It was hella good, and smelled hella good also. Then he made giant meat-balls, pasta salad and salad. I bet he even made home made beer. o_o Who knows! But everything smelled great, wish i could be home to enjoy it. :L

Well cause of his turkey, i was hella craving chicken since last night so i went to KFC this morning and got myself 20 pieces of honey bbq chicken wings. Hehe. It was delicious. :>

So i'm sitting here in my mommas shop just chillin` with Lena. Sitting right next to the open door, that just must be open and im super cold. This shop is actually pretty damn cute, according to the fact that my mom decorated it with my pops. I was expected something more lame...like those random stores you see at malls and you wonder - "wtf is this store doing here"

I'm glad people actually come in and buy stuff though. Lol. I was expecting to just sit here and not make money. Not asking to get paid though. I'm just sitting here to help. I dont mind missing the super bowl and lotsa food. Plus, im bouta ask my momma for hella money this month. So its okay. No its not. Money is hard to make now a days. & my daddys out of a job now. Damn economy. -_-

The best thing bout the Superbowl would be the commercials. Of course! Specially for me who knows nothing about the game itself. I missed it last year too. Boo! But i think i can watch all the commercials on here: http://www.youtube.com/user/adblitz

Last Superbowl i spent it with my Ex. I forgot what we were doing though. Rofls. & it was also Henry's birthday! I came home late. (well what my mom thought was late, but really wasn't) and my mom got kind of mad at me. Hm...wow i really forgot. I thought i remembered what happened that day. I think that was the day Justine got her belly pierced. O:

Well i'm getting off of "work" at 7:00pm and till then i'm going to continue this blog as well as watch Cougar Town with Lena. She's went across the street to buy me a bag of chips. :D

Ouch...i just hit my head on one of the shelves. -__-

Ended up not watching Cougar Town cause i watched most of the available episodes last night.
Sigh...i still gotta go home later and do history homework. Its a new semester and i don't want to slack off in that class like last semester. I barely made it! But especially cause i'm bouta fail ROP.

Speaking of ROP...i still don't know what im about to do with that class...ugh fml with that.

Just got home right now, and my brother's Superbowl get together is still going on. And btw. SAINTS WON! Yay for everyone that wanting them to win. Ahah. Can't imagine the excitement in those people. Well all his friends are in the living room buzzed and playing Kings Cup. And ya'll must know what im thinking right? - Fork over a beer please. :x Nah its cooool. My brother sure knows how to throw craccin` get togethers though. The stuff is still set out in the back yard from this afternoon...i wonder if there is food left. Eh...doubt thaaat.

Expenses

Prom is in exactly a month and i have no idea if i am going or not. I'm afraid im not going to get ask and that saddens me. Yet, even though i'm not so sure, i am sitting here thinking about everything i'm going to do for it! As well as how much i am about to be spending.

I'm bouta spend hella bank this month on prom, that is if im going.

Mani-Pedi
Dress
Heels
Chip in for limo
Pictures
Prom itself (unless he pays :3)

We're talking bout more than 200 dollars here in less than a month. I suppose!

Then Sadies is on Thursday. More spending on the outfit i'm going to be buying for that. Sometimes i wonder whats so great about school dances anyways. Well...good experience, creating nice memories. I mean im barely around school. Nice way to hangout with mission heads right? Aha i dont know. I think i'm about to spend 30 dollars here.

Gotta buy another outfit for the Charity Fashion Show too. Don't know what i'm trying to wear yet, but we will see about that. So i have no ranging price of how much i am about to spend. But lets say...around 50-80 dollars. Or maybe not! Cause i'll probably be spending at Forever 21.

Planning on shopping for Charity Fashion Show and Sadies on Monday or Tuesday, and go on a hunt for Prom shit next week. (:

Superbowl is tomorrow everyone. I hella want to go to a superbowl get together and eat bbq. That would be funn. My brother is hosting a get together tomorrow and he spent tonight making food. Omfg it smelled amazing...hella food too! I really wish my brother would make me food whenever he makes himself food. :c

Well i needa go to "work" tomorrow at my mother's shop. She wont be able to be there tomorrow so she needs someone to fill her space. Well i am glad to help out. That just means im missing out on the Supebowl. Its okay though, cause i'm not such a huge football fan, but i wanted to watch the commercials. Hopefully next year then!

I feel like im soon to be sick. Oh gosh, immune system please don't fail me now!
The last time i got SUPER sick was last year the week of Sadies. Aha. So that would be funny if i got super sick again this week. Well...funny but not really cause i dont wanna be super sick. -__- That would just suck ass. My throat is itchy, my nose is stuffy and my head hurts. I think it could just be a cold though. But after this blog im hoping into bed.

Its 12:12 AM.

I have a new favorite show, and its called Cougar Town yakno, older women being attracted to young men. I dont know. I like it though. Lena just introduced me to it today. Hehe. Goodshit!

SPCL show was okay. We messed up but...it was expected. Everything was super though. I don't think i'm fit to be in charge of anything. Just not my place to be. I like to listen and fallow. Ya'll know me. I'm better at taking orders rather than making them.

Hey, i make some stupid choices in my life and i'm at not position to regret any of it. Well only some that have a really bad outcome...but otherwise no. No regrets at all. I mean its my choices...so let me be. Its not affecting you what so ever. Also, it doesnt even change who i am. I'm still the same Kathy i was before. So chill. All i can say is sorry i disapointed you, but i can't believe its being taken like this. Cause you know me. And im hurt. Well...yeah i really don't know what to do about this. I just ended one fight, i'm not tryna start another. But really now? Kinda making me want to do it more cause kind of just pissing me off a little. But you know i still love you, just calm the fuck down and accept me already. CAUSE IM STILL THE SAME PERSON. Look at it this way, atleast i didnt lie or hide it from you. Told ya straight up.

Tomorrow i'm going to get KFC and enjoy it while i'm working. Because i think business is about to be slow tomorrow so i can chow down on my fried chicken in a boring shop while everyones feasting out on delicious superbowl food and pretend that im having the time of my life. Which i actually will cause i love fried chicken. <3

Smile with your eyes.

I put too much soy sauce in my dinner. I dont wanna eat this anymore.
Rice + Pork. Was i even suppose to put soy sauce in it? It tasted kind of bland so i didn't know what to add. Maybe its just too much. And on the side, i have a delicious meatball. (:

So heres what im gonna do. I told myself there is not hope at this point. "Point of no return" But...i thought about it, and i can't just give up! I can't just sit around and wait to be approached. I said that if you want something to be done, just do it yourself. Also this whole, im gonna sit and wait for you thing is kinda how everything started. Its like i'm thinking this, but on the other hand youre thinking the exact same thing. And no action is taking place. Yakno? So its useless. I'll just step up, and just do it, like Nike.

It can't go on like this anymore! I'm seriously at my breaking point, i feel like im suffocating and my mind is so cluttered it hurts to think. And like the feeling i have inside me...its the worse. I don't know how to explain it...something along the lines of having a hard time breathing. My body is tense. My hearts beating hard, my mind is flooded, im choking! It hurts. Kinda like i want to cry really badly, but no tears are coming. But no point of sitting around crying about it.

Cause when things are over and done with...i'll feel okay.
Cause things shouldn't be this way. Cause i know deep down, she wants it fixed too. Cause...we've been through a lot and love each other. Yaknoooooooooooooo?

I really need to look for my ID...it has to be in my room somewhere. The last time i saw it was the night of WB, and i don't remember what i did with it at all...Bleh. I REALLY DONT KNOW WHERE IT COULD BE.

So i see myself walking miles and miles till June. I've been walking a shit load this week.
Is walking as affective as running? Its healthy right, but running will burn fat quicker. But eventually, will all this walking pay off? Cause i hope so. :3 I really wanna loose my flab! Its there, i swear. I am hoping to be able to go running as soon as i get running shoes, and possibly yoga pants. Those are cute shit!

If you want we can chill and sip that liquor, we can talk we can chill.

All that has been on my mind is this shit. I feel hella retarded just venting out. I'm not letting the flame die out. No way Jose.

Didn't go to ROP again today, and stayed at school for lunch. So i guess we are seriously not going back to ROP. FML...really...-_- REALLY?! I dont really know. Fuck dude.

CONTACTS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE...i have one cantact in one eye, and im debating on if i should put the other one in the other eye...just for kicks yakno. Can this possibly decrease my perfect vision, or can i become blind by wearing non prescriptive contacts? o_o I hope not!

Can you tell my eyes are different color? Its Purple!

I guess it's not the noticeable...i guess you gotta look at my in person.

Okay, i have no eye drops and my right eye is uncomfortable...

time to take em off...OKAY WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
I have no idea how to take this off. Craaaaaaaap...what...do...i...do...
Okay, i just took em off, lets just hope i dont become blind. Rofls.

Dear John comes out tomorrow. Hoping to be able to go watch it with Justin(:
But if not...THATS OKAY.

Lena went out and got the book...i can't beleive she's actually about to read that. But i guess...crazy little girl. When i was her age, i wouldnt wanna touch a book like that. I wonder if she'll even understand it. Better not have any sexual content in it.

Hoping for a better day.