Recap

I'm taking a break from watching Dexter on Netflix tonight, to take a brief moment to collect my thoughts. It's been quite a while since i've visited my blog. There would be times throughout my days where i'd be in deep thought and have the urge to blog. I make mental notes to myself to remind myself that i'll have to go blog about it later. By the time i get home, and settled in my current position in bed, the thought from earlier in the day vanishes. Probably not that significant...but they actually seemed rather insightful (in my opinion).

So, what shall i write about today? I suppose i'll just share with my readers what has been going on in my life, since i "let go" of the negativity in my life. Let's just start with saying that, i really just let go of a huge fat burden off of my shoulders and i have not felt so free in so long.

I find it silly of me because approximately two weeks ago, hell broke loose in my mind. Everyday was a dreadful day. I felt so completely hopeless of myself, and sleep really did not come easy at all. I blogged about a lost love, that was lost way long ago. I was holding onto nothing basically. I fell into a deep dark hole, and i was actually there for longer than i even realize. Thinking about it now, i was in that hole for a very, very long time. Well anyways, for the past couple of months that's where i was.  My mind and soul have been lost. I haven't quite found it yet, but i'm almost at complete serenity. I've been feeling more uplifted, and i can't believe i really stuck around for so long, and put myself in such a position. Who am i to blame, but myself for my misery and suffering. I let this boy step all over me, and i have finally ridden myself of him. It's a sad thing, indeed...when once a lover becomes someone you don't even know anymore.

I think i'll have to write a separate blog about that particular situation another day.

Anywho, i have some ideas. I might take next quarter off. In efforts of figuring myself out, and to figure out what i want for myself and within my life. I was thinking of also changing my major -- i'll elaborate about that later, when i find out more information. Another job is in mind. Perhaps one as a unit clerk in a nursing home, or maybe even in a gym so i can get cheap/free membership.

Work has been keeping me busy, and getting checks bi-monthly is really nice especially now that it's not less that $200. I have a love hate relationship with my current petty job.

Lisa and i want to go to Hawaii, and i think i'm going to look into planning something for that after my birthday. It seems like it'd be really fun, but only if i have the money for it. It's something i want to happen. My family may be going on a family vacation for the first time since i was 12! I'm so excited, if it's really going to happen...we haven't gone a legit trip together in a really long time. Judging by my family, i feel like i might not happen...but one can hope, right?

I would love to write more, but it's 3am and i'm exhausted.

Goodnight, and toodles.